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With the best articles on caring for natural hair, Curly Nikki is your source for inspiration and advice. Find out about the latest styles and trends today!

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    Comment below, if you’re in!

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    Remember though, powerful action is a by-product of true alignment. Find the way your Soul feels in your body and while rooted in that natural, peaceful-joy, take action. Start writing that book, launch that podcast, take that course... #justdoit. But do it in and from that peaceful state. Do it as HER. #BeHerNow

    Big announcement next week. Looking forward to sharing💓


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    The Deluxe Styling Head
    By Erickka Sy Savané
    When we told you about the Mattel Barbie Styling Head last month folks were trying to cop it like a Beyonce surprise album only it wasn't available everywhere. Well, now we know where you can find it!

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    Since that post my mom has been on it, stalking the Walmart.com website like only someone retired can do, and just last week they restocked. She just sent 3 my way, that I received yesterday, 2 for my daughters that will be put up for Christmas and 1 for her. Go figure! They cost $29.84 and will do free 2-day shipping on orders over $35. Now that you have the info, hurry because I suspect they will go fast! Here's one of mine below. It's even cuter in person and reminds me of my Cindy doll head when I was a kid. She was black and I loved the heck out of her. Good luck!

    The Deluxe Styling Head
    Will you be ordering one?

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    BACA
     By Ta-ning Connai

    By the time I got to my friend's church, it was already in session. You could hear a pin drop as I tried to quietly squeeze myself through the congregation while scrambling towards that one empty seat. And before my butt could even hit the pews, the pastor decides to integrate me into his already scheduled program..."Yeah fellas, look out for these light skin girls strolling into church with their big curly hair, batting their big blue eyes, wearing their fly fur coats and them high heel boots. Uh huh, the devil is just trying to tempt you, and you gotta be strong because ya know they ain't up to no good! Oh yes sir, you better watch yourself because all they gonna do is get you caught up! One look into they eyes and they gonna steal your heart and take you for everything you got! I'm telling you ladies you better get your life right, stop playing with God because he ain't playing with you!"

    I was stunned.

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    Did this fool just try to call me out and then straight LIE on me???!!! Little did he know I was 10 years abstinent and any dude rolling up on me was finna meet my boyfriend Jesus! Then we talking 7 years in ministry and the most sold out soldier for Christ he'd ever seen in his life. And even with knowing the truth about myself, I felt so publicly humiliated. Honestly, even if I was a prostitute, what pastor would do this to someone? Don't blame me just because I remind you of some high yella little girl that hurt your feelings in the 3rd grade! Needless to say, my friend KNEW not to ever invite me back.

    Unfortunately, falling victim to constant misconceptions doesn’t keep me from sometimes dishing it out. Yeah, I have the nerve to do it too, more times than I’d like to admit. Just recently, I saw a picture online that had me kicking myself after I read the article. It was a picture of some bikers with full on leather and spiked gear, wild manes and full beards. Their tattoos looked like the kind you get when you’re in prison. As a matter of fact, they looked like they just escaped from Death Row! So, what am I supposed to think when they’re 20 deep, mobbed up in a parking lot? I’ll tell you what I thought...
    Once they kill the guy they have hogtied in the garage, they’re gonna dump the body, go celebrate at the bar, get drunk, snatch some girls to dance with, break some glass and walk out without paying a dime. And who’s gonna stand in their way? NO ONE.
    That’s some imagination I have isn’t it? Well, it turned out they are a Christian organization, Bikers Against Child Abuse, that puts on events for young children traumatized by abuse. Imagine my surprise (and embarrassment). Their loving kindness is changing hearts for Christ by breaking the mold of tradition and that is an awesomely unique witnessing tool for the kingdom of God.
    ~ But the Lord said to Samuel (as he went to choose the next king), “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7 ~
    BACA doing outreach
    Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover because our initial impression of people isn't always the most accurate one. What we see is NOT always what we get because our eyes can play tricks on us. Especially now in this country when there's so much division and it's so easy to believe the worst about people. So how do we refrain from thinking we know what we think we know about people we don’t even know? Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us the things our eyes cannot see. In the midst of God's power, stereotypes are broken, judgments diminish and walls of condemnation start to fall. Eventually we will start to see the best in people and their limitless capabilities. We all deserve the benefit of the doubt, don’t we?

    Are you guilty of judging people you don't know?
    TA-NING is a former model and clothing designer who one day got the "call" to leave the fab world of fashion behind. While in Bible College, she discovered her knack for mixing her quirky style of writing with her gift to teach. TA-NING'S TELL IT TUESDAY is a weekly column that uses doses of pop culture to tear down the walls of churchy tradition, change the face of Christianity, and present it's message in a lively way. Ta-ning resides in Santa Monica (by way of BK).

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    Chris Brown, daughter & Nia Guzman
    By Brenda Alexander

    Children are expensive...this I know. But after recent reports of Chris Brown’s baby mama Nia Guzman gunning for more than $20k monthly in child support, I’m stuck with one question: Are mothers of children who have wealthy fathers taking advantage of child support? Because you can’t tell me that $20k a month is a requirement to provide your child a decent life.

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    I remember pondering this question as early as my pre-teen years, way before I even knew what child support entailed. Growing up, I was a huge fan of Kimora Lee Simmons because of her lavish lifestyle. When she and Russell divorced, I recall watching an entertainment news show that reported she received upwards of $40k per month in child support expenses alone. I was flabbergasted. Even then, I thought that was an obscene amount, and that was over a decade ago. It seems as time goes on, these payments are getting even more astronomical, specifically within the world of entertainers and the wealthy. Just recently, Nas and Kelis were in court over an alleged $50k a month.

    Why I’m left perplexed has less to do with the amount of child support awarded and more to do with whether the funds are monitored in how they are spent. And, even more so if the parent receiving the child support income or potential income are being held accountable for what they are equally contributing to raise this child.

    I understand that child support is determined from various angles: who has sole physical custody, the monthly income of parent ordered to pay, lifestyle accustomed to parent and child and basic necessity in terms of food, shelter, clothing, schooling and medical expenses. But both parents should be expected to contribute to the child - unless the parent is disabled mentally or physically and is unable to contribute in the same way. And Nia ain’t disabled in any way.

    In fact, she claims she needs more support from Chris, for their child, because she makes little money from her online clothing boutique, which is her only means of income. Additionally, her monthly housing rent far exceeds her personal income and from court documents, it appears as if she’s using the child support from Brown as a substitute for her and their child’s overall lifestyle. This is where my problem with child support lies in the celebrity sector.

    First, if she’s making minimum income from an online boutique she runs, the obvious thing to do would be to pick up a part-time (or full-time job) to compensate from what she’s lacking, considering that according to her, their child is in child care and also has a nanny, her mother who Brown pays - which means that while this child is in school, she can work. Second, the court documents explain that her rent is $3,000 a month for an apartment, which is a luxury she cannot afford on her own. It’s time to move sis. I’m sure you can find a nice 2-bedroom apartment in a suburb in LA for $1,200 a month. Or, you could move your mother in, who Chris pays $4,000 a month for childcare, and use that additional $4k you’re getting a month for a 3-bedroom home for the three of you. You’ll come out cheaper. But Nia doesn’t want to do any of what I suggested. She feels entitled to a certain lifestyle because she has a child by Chris Brown.

    There are some who feel that children who have celebrities as parents should be awarded certain things. Depending on the level of celebrity, the only thing I’d agree that a child should have additional would be security and private schooling, and maybe living within a certain area for additional protection. However, it should not be based solely off of one parent’s income. And considering there are millions of mothers who unfairly make a way daily without any support from their child’s father while they work, go to school and arrange childcare among other things, those examples should be taken into account regardless of celebrity when judges grant support. Conditions need to be set in stone for the mother (or whatever parent is receiving the support) to pull their weight.

    It’s unfortunate as children are innocent bystanders in these legal and often selfish battles for more money. Many would argue that what’s law is law and regardless of how astounding the number awarded is, whoever earns the most money should be responsible for paying, especially if they don’t have sole custody.

    Obviously, if a child spends the majority of the time with one parent, then more funds are being spent probably on a daily basis. Even still, that parent should work. And many of these celebrity baby mamas of rappers and athletes do very little outside of Instagram promotions for employment. A lot of them vie for the stay-at-home and travel as they wish - with money that’s set to be used for their children’s well-being.

    There needs to be a system in place to protect those distributing the funds from parents who opt out of work and providing to their full potential since the other parent is well-off. Child support is just that - support for the child.

    Do you think many celeb baby mamas exploit the kids to support their own lifestyle?
     
    Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com

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    This FREE, 5-day challenge is a call to get un-stuck, and reclaim your power. It’s your manifesto. HER declaration! Everyday I share the importance of not ‘becoming in time’, but BEING the best version of yourself, now, living your best life, now, no matter what! And with this challenge, I will show you how and where to start.

    Continue!>>>
    Additionally, when you sign up, you’re automatically eligible for 1 of these 6 awesome prizes:

    One (1) winner and HER friend will join me (!!!!) on a silent, 4-day, 3-night retreat in the gorgeous hills of Northern California, on a private, gated estate! With airfare and rooms comped, you’ll be focused on deepening your heart-centered meditation practice with teachers who have been in the game for over 30 years. Check out Silentstay for more info!




    Four (4) winners will receive MUSE Brain Sensing Headbands! One of the biggest questions people have when they start a meditation practice is, ‘am I doing this right?’ MUSE takes the guess work out by translating your brain signals into the sounds of wind. When your mind is calm and settled, you hear calm and settled winds. When your mind is active, the winds will pick up and blow. So, so dope. ($199 value per Muse Headband)

    One (1) winner will receive a years supply of PLENTIFUL hair care products!!!! No matter how you style your hair, PLENTIFUL’s blend of avocado and aloe vera oils will promote abundant, healthy hair growth, and add to shine, softness, moisture, and manageability to every straight, wavy, curly, or coily strand of hair.

    Sign up NOW! We’ll get started on Monday! ❤️👑

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    Kelvin Pena
    By Kira Sparkles

    Let’s be real, social media’s a lot. Too often we’re bombarded with upsetting images and a doom and gloom view of what’s going on in the world around us. That’s why during these volatile times I try to find the lighter side of the internet by watching Kelvin Pena.

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    Around since the days of Vine, he’s been called the Dominican Snow White, The Deer Whisperer and even Brother Nature. He got his start by feeding a family of deer he calls the Deer Squad which includes a buck named Money and three does, Canela, Bambi and Lola. Sometimes the deer would take food from him, other times he would throw food their way with his now infamous “Everybody Eats” catch phrase. This was his content for a while, guys, literally, just feeding fruit to deer. It’s the purest thing you’ll see. In his growing fame (if 2.1 million instagram followers is any indication), he’s started a nonprofit called the "Everybody Eats Foundation” which also helped Puerto Rico during Hurricane Maria. His goal is to go to school and grow his platform to try and use it for the greater good. Still not convinced about this actual ball of human sunshine? Check out some of my favorite Kelvin videos to see if I can change your mind...

    Here’s Kelvin chillin’ with Money:


    Kelvin out here feeding EVERYBODY with the "Everybody Eats Foundation"

    Errrrbody Loves Brother Nature!

    It's Real Out Here...a trip to Walmart...
    Via Kelvin's IG
    Kelvin’s hung out with monkeys, the man got a baby goat, and recently he was seen in Hawaii swimming with sharks. Rumor has it he might be getting his own series. I personally hope it’s something Disney inspired where Kelvin and the Deer Squad go on magical adventures. Just me? Okay, I’ll stop. But seriously, have you been following Kelvin and the Deer Squad for a while? Did you fall in love after seeing these videos?

    Let me know some of your favorite Kelvin videos in the comments.
    Kira is a passionate, outspoken writer keeping it real for the people. She's a UF graduate with a soft spot for cats. Read more of her work at her blog KiraSparkles!

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    ItsHeyMorgan
    By Erickka Sy Savané

    Black women out here doing all kinds of interesting things. This woman went on a 20-day nothing but water fast, and vlogger and student It'sHeyMorgan challenged herself to drink a gallon of water a day when some folks can barely drink one glass. Find out what happens (we're guessing she had to pee a lot) and let us know if you'll try it...I mean, who knows, maybe a gallon a day keeps the doctor away!

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    Hamamat Montia
    By Winnie Gaturu

    Children are indeed a blessing. They have the ability to bring out a part of their parents that was previously hidden. They often challenge them to attain more than they already have. This was the case with Hamamat Montia. From Ghana, Hamamat is an entrepreneur, former model and beauty queen. One day, when her 3-year-old daughter Zuri came home from school and said she wanted blonde hair like Cinderella, she felt disturbed. This was the moment that sparked her current path as an entrepreneur.

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    Because of her daughters, Hamamat has made it her mission to spread awareness of African culture and traditions to the world, and become a role model that African girls can look up to. Many refer to her as the Global African Ambassador. In the process of becoming a role model, Hamamat African Beauty was born in 2017. It is a brand that offers handmade skincare products which are made from 100% natural ingredients. Her company is also the first online-based retailer to ship pure freshly made Shea butter directly from Ghana to the rest of the world. The techniques used to create these products have been passed on from generation to generation. The ancestors used these herbs and oils to take care of their hair, skin and overall health.

     Hamamat.com
    The two main products from Hamamat African Beauty are the Golden Shea Butter and the Safari Shea butter. The Golden Shea Butter has multiple benefits including soothing dry skin, eliminating wrinkles, relieving sunburn, healing wounds, alleviating skin allergies and treating eczema. The Safari Shea Butter contains high therapeutic and anti-inflammatory properties since it is mixed with traditional herbs. It is an effective natural ointment for treating muscle aches, swellings, and bruising, among other things. Judging by the reviews on the website, people using these products are happy with the results.


    Hamamat Montia
    The amount of dedication that Hamamat pours into ensuring the authenticity and quality of her products is to be admired. She grew up using handmade Shea Butter and knows firsthand the benefits, especially on the skin. Hamamat recently posted a video showing how to make Shea Butter from scratch. It is normally a family affair that's well-coordinated, involving lots of hard work.


    Hamamat has definitely succeeded in becoming a role model as she wanted. She is truly an inspiration to many and we can't leave out the fact that her skin is goals! As a result of her hard work, it is not a surprise that she was listed as one of the 100 most influential young Africans in 2018. Congratulations are in order. All we can say is, "Keep winning queen!"

    To see more of Hamamat, follow her IG where she shares videos about West African culture, and for more info on her products go to Hamamat.com

    Are you inspired by Hamamat?
     https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DnsMSFjLFNw/We9aV3iBeiI/AAAAAAAADII/F9HbMPX6PfYe6aCJqc-eDi3Wgmu41YE4wCLcBGAs/s1600/Winnie%2BG..jpg
    Winnie Gaturu is a writer, tech lover, mom, wife and student from Nairobi, Kenya. During her free time, she loves trying out new recipes, diy projects, filling in crossword puzzles and spending time with her family.

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    Crystal of PuzzelFit
    By Erickka Sy Savané
    The summer may be just about over, but that doesn't mean we have to forget all about our abs. Whether we're going for a 6-pack or just looking to fit better into our clothes, trainer Crystal of PuzzelFit has a 10-minute ab workout designed to whip you into shape. Give it a try, especially the flutter kicks, and let us know how it works out!

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    By Devon Mac

    The Black church anchors much of my childhood and adolescence. It was my first experience of nurture and care outside of my family. Where mint candies were sweet gifts of love from older ladies in stockings and knee-length skirts. Where I nervously sang my first solo in the children's choir. Where I rocked white gloves and patent leather shoes on Easter. And as a teenager, where I fell into a range of crushes and formed life-long friendships. The church was also where I came to understand a love that was beyond what anyone on earth could ever give me. It is where my faith was formed. I also received my first formal education about sex in the church.

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    And the education I received was thorough. Our youth pastor couched the topic in his theological understanding: God created sex. Sex was wonderful. And sex was intended to be contained within the bounds of marriage. The latter principle is the essence of purity culture.

    So yes, I was indoctrinated into purity culture and I bought whole-heartedly into its values. I was taught that God wanted us to experience the wonderful gifts that sex offers in ways that were not damaging or hurtful.

    And so, when I married as a virgin, I was ready for that life.

    Several years into my marriage, however, I found myself devastated, disillusioned, confused, and frustrated when I still was not able to talk about my married sex life without referencing a deep pain.

    It takes the author of this particular blog postI Saved My Virginity For My Husband And Ended Up With Bad Sex, to accurately pin-point my overall experience. She and I shared a common marital issue (though slightly varied), down to the sexual imprisonment we both felt.

    It was in the reading of her story that I felt free enough to be angry as hell. And the first question I had was for the church that had become so formative in my understanding of life. And that question was why?

    Why, in all my church's courageous, bold, and truth-telling about sex, was the subject of sexual compatibility never mentioned?

    In my all-encompassing rage, I was compelled to go straight to the Church for an answer. Because I grew up with friends who eventually went into ministry as pastors, ministers, and faith leaders, I didn't have to look far.

    Here's what a few had to say (their answers have been edited for brevity):

    Pastor, male, married, 40 years old, Sacramento, CA
    I believe that on one hand compatibility is addressed but not in larger gatherings. This is usually because the church sees sex as permissible only in the marriage relationship as such those topics are reserved for marriage retreats and such.

    On the other hand, it's not discussed as much as needed, even in the marital gatherings, and this is due to the fact that sexual compatibility is not a high priority for highly religious people. Consequently, you get two people who never probe the deeper realities of marriage. It's a mindset that as long as God said it, then everything else can be figured out.

    Lastly, I think this topic is rarely discussed because of American culture in general and American church culture in particular. Both arenas are extremely uncomfortable with dealing with sexual truths, so sexuality is only discussed thru binary lenses. Should we or shouldn't we, gay or straight, right or wrong. To delve into compatibility means discussing preferences and experiences and for a prudish society, that is simply too much. All in all, I believe it is discussed but as little as humanly possible.
    Pastor, male, married, 37 years old, Chicago, IL
    I should say that I have heard the subject of compatibility discussed from the pulpit. Pastors like James Ford, Jr. in Chicago and Ed Young in Houston are two that quickly come to mind. That said, I would agree that, again in my experience, I have heard more on the parameters of sex than the issue of compatibility.

    Another pulpit assumption, that I know to be covered in our pre-marital counseling sessions, is that sexual gratification in marriage is an art to be learned and shared overtime between that couple. I remember in one of our pre-marital counseling sessions, the pastor encouraging me to ensure that my bride reached her most pleasurable climax every time we engaged. As a virgin, I had no idea how valuable that bit of advice would be. That would mean years of studying her, talking with her and following her clues. I don't think it a fair expectation that the pastor or church would have imposed that information on us. It was something I needed to learn.
    Pastor, female, single, 42 years old, Chicago, IL
    As an unmarried, chaste woman pastor I will speak in theological terms.
    Theologically speaking, the commitment of covenant is offered without condition. I preached a wedding sermon this weekend on mature love, a love that grows and matures over time through painful spaces of all types of incompatibility (John 15:9-17). The paradox of love is joy and pain living together. The greatest love we can ever offer is a love that lays itself down for another. A love that releases its desire to have its own way.
    While the responses provided helped to offer some solace, the last pastoral response resonated the most to me personally. Mature love is indeed joy and pain living together and I did that for 15 years of my life. In that time, I grew to appreciate love outside of sex. I experienced love without sexual compatibility, which has incredible value when it comes to spending a lifetime with a person because there will be seasons in a marriage where sex just cannot happen. For this reason, I hold no grudges against the Church and place no blame. However, married couples who are capable and able-bodied should be able to enjoy compatible sex together. It saddens me that I got married without learning that it can be a deal-breaker should the couple, after giving their all, never come to an agreement.

    Perhaps it was my fate to learn that lesson as a lived experience and not in the church. But moving forward, I believe that any church that is courageous enough to discuss sex, particularly purity culture, should be intentional about bringing balance to the discussion for the sake of preserving marriages.

    For more Devon Mac visit GoodBlackChurchGirl.com

    Do you think sexual compatibility in marriage should be discussed by the church?

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    Tracee Ellis Ross
    By Kanisha Parks

    I don’t know about you, but I am so glad that Fall is finally here! My skin has been through it this summer with this overwhelming Georgia heat. As the weather changes, it is always a good idea to examine your skincare regimen to make sure you're doing everything possible to keep your skin from aging prematurely. The time to act is now! So here are a few anti-aging skin hacks to jumpstart your skincare routine for the fall:

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    1. Use a Jade Facial Roller
    There are plenty of different facial massage tools and rollers on the market but the Jade roller is certainly one of the more popular (and affordable) ones. (On Amazon, most of them are $5-$25.) You’ve probably seen Jade rollers somewhere on Instagram by now—I was hooked when I saw Tracee Ellis Ross using one while getting her hair done, improving the look of her skin one jade-roll at a time.

    Jade rollers promise multiple benefits, including diminishing under-eye circles and puffiness and minimizing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles—ultimately de-stressing the skin and improving its overall health. So get yourself one of the jade rollers asap, even just for the way it feels. Your future skin will thank you!

     2. Apply a Vitamin C Serum
    Wait, are you really still not using Vitamin C? An anti-aging skincare routine is really incomplete without it. Vitamin C is an antioxidant that is needed for collagen production and helps prevent sun damage, hydrate the skin, fade brown spots and acne scars, reduce redness, and ultimately slow the aging process.

    Vitamin C Serums will give you brighter and firmer skin and also decrease the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. There are plenty of them on the market, including Clinique’s Fresh Pressed Daily Booster with Pure Vitamin C, which retails for around $27.

     

    3. Try a Gentler Cleanser  
    A lot of skincare routines are focused on exfoliating the skin in order to make sure you get rid of all the dirt, oil, and makeup. While that’s true and necessary, sometimes we focus way too much on exfoliating, or often use harsh cleansers in an effort to maintain clear skin. It’s more important to strike a balance between deep cleansing the skin and incorporating a gentle cleanser in the mix as well in order to keep the skin moisturized, supple, and calm.

    You really only need to exfoliate about 3 times a week and it is ideal to use it at night. In the morning, try to use a gentle cleanser just to refresh the skin, as it shouldn’t really be that dirty anyway if you cleansed it the night before. My daily cleanser of choice is CeraVe’s Hydrating Facial Cleanser for Normal to Dry Skin ($10.98). It’s almost like a cream cleanser and really gets the simple job done of preparing my skin for the day without drying it out. So make sure that you are not using only harsh or exfoliating cleansers in your routine.


    4. Don’t Forget the Aloe!
    The hype of aloe has died down somewhat since it was all over the web last year but this isn’t an ingredient to cast aside with all your other overly hyped up products. Aloe is an immensely hydrating and powerful agent for the skin. It promotes the overall health of your skin and will definitely help turn back the clock as our skin is constantly faced with the threat of aging because of the environment, stress, dirt, oil, makeup, and other components.

    Aloe vera rejuvenates the skin and with continued use overtime, you will find that your skin will become softer, have more elasticity, be less prone to acne and if you have dark marks or scars, they will begin to fade! I like to use Lily of the Desert’s 99% aloe vera gelly but there are others on the market that are just as beneficial!


    5. De-stress Weekly with Masks!
    When it’s all said and done, one of the best things you can do for your skin is relax. Many of us love masks but rarely find the time to fit them into our beauty regimen. Make time for some self-care and de-stress with a moisturizing mask, which you can find in any drugstore, TJ Maxx, Ross, or Marshall’s. All of my favorite masks are by Freeman Feeling Beautiful because they have such a wide variety at Ulta and unlike one-time use masks, they are super affordable and can last a long time. You work hard and your skin needs and deserves a break! Take some time to pamper your skin: it will only thank you for it later.

    What's your skincare routine??  
    Kanisha is a Christian writer/author based in Augusta, GA. Other than CurlyNikki.com, she has also written for BlackNaps.organd Devozine, and has authored a book of poetry entitled, "Love Letters from the Master." Kanisha can be contacted for business inquiries at kanishaparks@gmail.com

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    Quad Webb Lunceford and Dr. Gregory Lunceford
     By Brenda Alexander

    Their marriage started off rocky with them canceling the wedding just weeks before getting hitched only to turn around and jump the broom in a ceremony while guests watched with side-eyes at a later date. Being newlyweds on reality tv didn’t help. She took pride in being a stay at home wife while catering to her man only to fester into a real life version of Beyonce’s “Resentment." He worked to maintain the household and yearned to start a family while she strived to establish some financial independence. She claims he grew to be emotionally unstable, became a nagger and increasingly made a mockery of her pain. Not helping were outside chatter from viewers and castmates that Quad was never satisfied. It was speculated that she loved the lifestyle he provided more than him and dragged him along while she climbed social ladders. The final straw was Quad’s emotional revelation that Dr. G was caught in an extortion attempt after an apparent hotel affair.

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    After Dr. G made his media rounds this week telling his side of the story post Quad’s divorce filing, more was revealed. According to Dr. G, he and Quad were in a sexless marriage for more than half of their union with her sleeping in a separate bedroom beginning in their second year, refusing to have children with him, desperate to keep up with the Joneses and living lavishly off of her Bravo checks that he allowed her to keep to herself, and an overall disinterest in their marriage. All of which, led him to an ATL hotel to have a one-night stand that he swears he did not go through with. His alleged mistress tells a different story.



    The easy thing to do in an unhappy marriage would be to seek outside counsel and if that doesn’t work, then divorce. But, life is not that black and white.

    Affairs occur for different reasons: lack of connection and affection, two people growing apart, insecurity, revenge...In their case, it seemed to be a combination of all. I don’t condone cheating, but as I age I understand that situations lead people to do selfish things; and cheating is just that - selfish. But, I also am in tune with human behavior and when one feels like there is something lacking, they will seek it elsewhere and if what they are alleging of each other is true, what did they anticipate the outcome to be?

    I spoke to a few friends to get their opinion and they had this response.
    Male, been with partner for 3 years, age 26
    Cheating is against your vows. But, there is clearly a disconnect in the marriage. Leaving is easier said than done. There’s history with most relationships, in some cases a family unit is built, time has been invested and of course that fairytale ending that everyone refuses to acknowledge. It’s a selfish act but it happens to the strongest of couples. People have egos and are unwilling to bend, always placing blame on the other instead of getting to the root of the problem. In Quad and Dr. G’s case, there were a multitude of issues and at one point, they both gave up. From the outside looking in, as a man, I could see how it happened. His desire for children was non-negotiable and she used that against him. She felt unappreciated and grew bitter. Every relationship is different but the reasons people cheat have the same underlying causes. The only thing different is the effect. Some can work it out and other who were already fragile break down and are irreparable. I am for trying if it’s only one offense but it takes both parties. Relationships and marriages are difficult and until you’re in it, you don’t get the depth of just how hard they are. If not, like Mariah says - GTFO if you are not fulfilled.
    Another friend had a similar response but was not as forgiving.
    Female, single, has been cheated on and left, currently not interested in a relationship, age 27
    In my opinion, cheating is never understandable. A person should have the heart to break up or divorce the other if they are unhappy. In Quad and Dr. G’s case, they both wanted different things and neither wanted to compromise, yet neither of them took the step to legally separate to give each other appropriate space or file for divorce before the supposed scandal. Instead, the hotel rendezvous took place, causing deeper hurt. It was all avoidable. This is what cheating does - further damages a relationship, a bond and the other’s soul.
    The common theme is that cheating is selfish, no matter the circumstance. For me, it does not have to be a full-blown physical, or as Dr. G claims, almost physical situation. Entertaining another man or woman with misleading conversations or outings is cheating. Social media messaging and emoji eyes as comments can be cheating. It depends on your intent. It all leads to a dangerous road if you’re not careful. I understand how it happens, but it’s preventable. So before you find yourself in an extortion scheme like Dr. G, take the necessary steps to remove yourself from the relationship.

    Is cheating ever justified or just break up already? 
     
    Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com

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    By Winnie Gaturu

    When entrepreneurs present their businesses and ideas to the sharks on Shark tank, they all wish for one thing, to get a much needed boost. Some end up getting what they wanted or better, while others walk away disappointed. However, there are a select few who turn down offers made to them by the sharks and walk away determined to make it on their own. Kelechi Anyadiegwu is one such individual.

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    Already recognized as a Forbes 30 Under 30, Nigerian-American Anyadiegwu is the CEO and founder of Zuvaa. She was on a Shark tank episode that aired in January 2018 and asked for $460,000 for a 10% stake in her company. The exchange between the sharks and Anyadiegwu is nothing short of impressive. What impressed the sharks most was how she had turned an initial investment of $500 into more than $2 million in sales in less than two years. However, the sharks were reluctant to offer her a deal for such a small percentage of the company. In the end, Kevin O'Leary was the one who made her an offer, but there was a catch; it was to be a loan of $460,000 paid with 12% interest in exchange for 10% of Zuvaa. This deal didn't appeal to Anyadiegwu hence, she declined the offer.

    Sold by ÖFUURË on Zuvaa
    So what exactly is Zuvaa? Zuvaa is a fast growing online marketplace for global designs. The website connects talented designers with consumers globally. It is an excellent platform for people looking for a unique piece especially one associated with African culture. The marketplace brings together over 85 handpicked designers who are located in different countries across Africa. Once a customer places an order, the items are shipped from the designer or from Zuvaa's fulfillment center in Atlanta, Georgia to the customer. This makes it possible for anyone in any part of the world to purchase a unique African design dress or accessory.

    Just like the judges on shark tank, you'll immediately fall in love with Zuvaa's designs. They are exquisite, elegant and filled with color and prints. The site doesn't only deal with clothes. You can also find jewelry, head wraps, shoes, hats, handbags and more. All products on Zuvaa are characterized by the same outstanding qualities; vibrant colors, African culture and unique taste. Purchasing an item from the website will definitely make you stand out from the crowd. Each designer has their own way of creating their products thus creating a wide range of designs to choose from.


    After appearing on shark tank, the progress of Zuvaa is not clear. Some designers affiliated with it claim that they had not been paid their wages even after successfully delivering the products. However, the website is still up and the items on it look amazing. Hopefully, Kelechi Anyadiegwu will continue perfecting her ideas, her brand and her business to make it a massive success. All businesses experience setbacks along the way, what matters is how the problems are solved and a way forward is made.

    All in all, the idea behind Zuvaa is fantastic if implemented the right way. The designers are doing a fantastic job! In the meantime, you can head over to the Zuvaa.com and check out the breathtaking designs.

    What do you think about Zuvaa?
     https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DnsMSFjLFNw/We9aV3iBeiI/AAAAAAAADII/F9HbMPX6PfYe6aCJqc-eDi3Wgmu41YE4wCLcBGAs/s1600/Winnie%2BG..jpg
    Winnie Gaturu is a writer, tech lover, mom, wife and student from Nairobi, Kenya. During her free time, she loves trying out new recipes, diy projects, filling in crossword puzzles and spending time with her family.

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    By Veronica Wells

    In a lot of ways, I grew up in the “I’ll take your man” era. The sentiment was in the music. Terry McMillan was writing about it in Waiting To Exhale (which I read probably a little too early), and most importantly they were in the warnings from elders. For better or worse, my grandmother was preoccupied with the concept of jealousy and we received more than our fair share of warnings about people who masqueraded as friends but were secretly jealous of some aspect of your life.

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    Following the lead of my grandmother, it was my mother who told me that if you have a man that’s good to you, you shouldn’t make a practice or habit of bragging about him to just anyone. And I remember she shared a story of her college roommate who outright told her, “If I like a guy, I don’t care if he’s in a relationship, I’ll just take him from her.” This woman’s admission shook my mother enough that she shared the story with her daughters, decades later. And I can’t lie it stuck with me.

    So imagine my utter horror when I heard two women having a discussion that violated the rules of my childhood.

    Woman 1: Girl, I know this might be a little inappropriate, but my man has the prettiest d*ck.
    Woman 2: Laughs.
    Woman 1: I’m serious. It’s beautiful. Literally perfect.

    It took everything in me not to drop my jaw. But there was no way I was going to tune out of this conversation.

    Woman 1: You know what, let me just show you.

    At this point, I’m convinced that woman 2 is going to object, call her homegirl crazy or insist that she’s taken things too far. But there was silence as she leaned in to her girlfriend’s phone waiting for the reveal.

    Woman 2: Girl, you’re right! It is perfect. That’s a gorgeous d*ck.

    I was looking around making sure I wasn’t the only one witnessing this. But I was. So there was no one to confirm my sense that this conversation was outta control, outta order, outta bounds. Since I heard it, I asked a couple of people if showing your partner’s genitalia to friends and family was normal. None of them thought it was. My fiancé said that he’d heard of men showing women they weren’t serious about to other men but once people were in a committed or serious relationship, those images were considered...private.

    The issue of whether or not you have permission to show someone’s genitals to friends and family is certainly a huge part of this discussion. I doubt this woman’s boyfriend knew he was being displayed in this way. And just because there are more than a few men who like to brag on their d*ck, it doesn’t necessarily give their partners the right to, especially with photographic evidence. Maybe I’m overthinking but I’m sure there are a few men who would consider that a violation.

    But in the weeks since I’d heard this conversation, I wondered if it was my own hang-ups that made this conversation so appalling to me. Had I been groomed to believe that female friendships would be characterized by envy and a desire to have what was “mine”? Should women be more upfront and honest about the good qualities of their man? And should they share said qualities with their friends?

    Personally, I can’t see myself talking about my man’s penis or sex game with damn near anyone. I just view certain things as sacred and, in a monogamous relationship, meant for two people. And in a world where so many relationships are performative, I doubt I’ll be doing too much sharing about personality traits either. But I think it’s interesting to examine the ways in which we’ve been led to believe that women--the people who serve as the greatest support systems in our lives--have been painted as malicious and conniving.

                                Do you brag about your man to your girlfriends?
    Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.

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    By Kira Sparkles

    Typically, when it comes to spending I’m the kind of person that does a ton of research before I buy anything. With social media’s targeted marketing, it’s hard to resist temptation. I mean, it knows what I like. I’m not going to lie that I’ve studdered at more than a few ads, but one that had me completely hooked was one for a company called "Monq" that marketed “Therapeutic Air.” Looking on their website, they have what they call ‘essential oil diffusers.’ After much thought and a little bit of research, I decided to give it a try.

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    The diffusers are shipped in a nondescript bag and come in a little plastic tube printed with whatever you purchased. They were having their birthday sale, so I managed to get in on a pretty good deal and bought three: ‘Vibrant,’ ‘Sexy,’ and ‘Sleepy.’

    When I popped them out of the tube I was met with… a vape pen. A cute, colorful vape pen, but still a vape pen. You know, where you inhale and the mixture inside is heated and vaporized. Still, I think that there’s some validity to using essential oils, so I was open and ready to try it. After all, the oils are diluted in vegetable glycerine, and there’s no tobacco in them, so how bad could they be?



    I started my day with this and it has a ginger flavor. It’s not spicy, but it’s an earthy sort of flavor with a spearmint flavor on the back end. It didn’t make me feel any more awake in the morning, but it was nice mid-afternoon when I came back from my lunch break. It gave me a small pick me up but I would say that’s more because of the mint. You’re supposed to breathe the vapor through your nose as a way to get the essential oils’ ‘full effect’, but honestly, doing this made me wake up because of the cool tingle in my nostrils. Think about brushing your teeth… but for your nose.




    I was hesitant to try Sexy because patchouli conjures up images of unbathed hippies, but I was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. Sexy tastes like lime candy, but it also tastes like jasmine flowers while still remaining earthy. It feels very mellow and a little romantic to have this one. I used it in the evening, right before going to bed while wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, but I also used it while going out because it drowns out the smell of actual tobacco while going to the bar.




    While the other ones were nice I didn’t feel any better off or worse off while using them. But listen, this one? This shit right here? It blends lavender, chamomile and kava and it will KNOCK. YOU. OUT. I’m talking about the way Nyquil knocks you out when you’re sick. Listen, if you have trouble going to sleep, this one works. The only drawbacks come from the kava oil. It has diuretic properties, so my eyes were a little dry when I woke up and I was a little groggy. Seriously, if you try this one, only take one hit. That might be all you need.

    Over all, I’m glad I tried them. They’re a little on the pricey side, but if you wait for a sale it’s worth getting a couple. Would I buy any in the future? Definitely! If nothing else, the floral aromas really give my work break that ‘stop and smell the flowers’ vibe which I could always use a little more of.

    Would you or have you tried an essential oil vape pen?
    Kira is a passionate, outspoken writer keeping it real for the people. She's a UF graduate with a soft spot for cats. Read more of her work at her blog KiraSparkles!

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    Cardi B
    By Erma BreAnn

    Now the dust has settled on the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj encounter, let us discuss their behavior around “the white folks.” I’m kidding - let’s not. Their behavior was wrong, we know that, but it doesn’t matter where they were or who they were around; wrong is wrong everywhere. After hearing many conversations the first thing I hear is the disappointment in their actions around, in Nicki Minaj’s own words, “upper echelon” also known as “white folks.” These statements make me cringe. Everyday I see evidence in brainwashing and post-traumatic stress disorder when we say and do things that help validate the oppressor and racist actions. When we use this language we are saying to others and ourselves we believe we are inherently inferior, which is not at all the case. Yet we still feel we shouldn’t be seen or take up space in a manner not approved of by white folks.

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    We police our own members on social values set by the white community on what is respectable. Respectability politics isn’t new. We were doing this when we told black women to straighten their hair to fit the mold of acceptable in the eyes of white folks. Still to this day we are fighting to dismantle this belief. Black and brown bodied individuals are over policed not only by the government and the policing of our communities, but by our own black and brown peers. The underlying tone of these words suggest police brutality and white folks discriminatory actions toward black and brown communities are valid due to the actions of our people is baffling. We have all been handed a book on surviving in a white world and we abide by it and we make certain those who look like us do the same.

    We’ve heard this around the conversations of Cardi B and Tiffany Haddish, the media and social sites are weighted in language about their boisterousness and use of ebonics as if it is wrong of them to express themselves the way they see fit. The assimilated black folks are ready for them to “calm down.” As you can see Cardi B is being her unapologetic self and the girls hate it. Marginalized communities are the only folks who are representations of the whole group or race wherever we go. White people do not see their behavior as a reflection of their race; must be why they are so removed from slavery yet black people mourn the deaths of every black person murdered by the hands of the police. We see ourselves in each other. I’m not saying we should stop seeing ourselves in each other. In fact, continue to do just that but we should see our reflection in every black and brown body and advocate for them to live their best life the way they see fit.

    Now I understand why we use respectability politics to stay aligned with the society in which we live. It’s not about approval it’s about survival of our black and brown bodies. We are policing our peers because we need not only them to survive but all of us to survive. Perhaps what hurts the most is we believe if we act within white societal norms we will survive. Yet, black and brown people are victims no matter where they fall in the rankings of social status. So answer me this, when are we going to finally take the weight off our backs and put it in the hands of whom it belongs? The problem lies with the oppressors to fix themselves. It is not our job to make sure we stay alive, it is their job not to kill us or oppress us based on the color of our skin. Make white people do the work to remove their inherent prejudices.

    Our actions do not control others but I understand it helps them justify their actions. We need to stop them from doing this by first stopping the use of respectability language within our own communities. Protect each other’s freedom of the pursuit of happiness but ensuring we have the option to be free in our expression of self. I’m not blind to the fact that Cardi B was attempting to cause harm to Nicki Minaj which is a whole debate as to why but the conversation shouldn’t start with where they were or who was around. Their actions are not a reflection of black folks as a whole and if you believe it is then it looks like you have some work to do to remove your prejudices and biases as well.

    Do you consider all black people's actions as a reflection on you?
    Erma BreAnn is a queer writer and poet based in Chicago. She is the creator of the blog Basic, Bad, & Bitchie at ermabreann.com, focusing on her journey through life. Follow her on Instagram: instagram.com/ermabreann

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    Regina King
    By Brenda Alexander

    Ever the humble one, Regina King was shocked when her name was announced as the winner for the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie for her role in Netflix’s Seven Seconds, the first woman of color to take home the honor. The audience reacted overtly different by giving her the standing ovation she deserved for her 30+ years in the business. Though not her first Emmy, it was the first of its kind and of that magnitude. What shocked me by the press breaks that followed was just how little mainstream America has paid attention to her unparalleled talent. WE have had the pleasure of her gift for years and know full-well the impact she's had on pop culture. Here are 10 of Regina King's best pop culture moments that started way before this year's Emmy win.

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    She’s been stealing our hearts with her wit since she was a teenager by bursting onto the scene in this 1980s sitcom, playing the loveable and studious teenager in an all-black ensemble on NBC.

    Boyz In The Hood

     Playing Shalika, teenage boys in urban cities began to fantasize over King with her braids, charisma and down to earth personality in roles she’d play similar to those in Boyz throughout the beginning of her career. This 1991 film is known as her breakout role. She would go on to work with co-star Ice Cube in Higher Learning and director John Singleton in Poetic Justice again in later 90s cult classics.

     Poetic Justice
    In one of my favorite roles, Regina played opposite Janet Jackson as her turnt up BFF Aisha. Always one to steal a scene, she’s most remembered for the epic fight scene with her onscreen boyfriend. Aisha had every around the way girl talking slick to the hood boys who were too cocky for words.

    Higher Learning
    In Spike Lee’s film about racial tension and cultural insensitivity on a college campus, King played a black roommate to a small town white girl who mingled with a black panther party type of crowd determined to navigate the campus bigotry. Who can forget the scene where her roommates male fling irately refers to her as a “black bitch,” setting off the climax of the fighting between the groups.

    Friday
    In another movie with Ice Cube, she played his sister and had us laughing when she refused to give her brother a loan to pay off his street debt.

    A Thin Line Between Love & Hate
    Anyone who can play opposite Lynn Whitfield’s crazy character Brandy and come off memorable deserves the ultimate honor. In A Thin Line, she played the role of Mia, Martin Lawrence’s childhood sweetheart that Whitfield’s character tried to take down after finding out Martin desired her instead.

    Daddy Day Care
    Proving to be multifaceted, she showed off her ability to play the doting wife, businesswoman and mother in this family comedy about an advertising-exec turned stay-at-home dad/daycare owner.

    This Christmas
    That baby oil beat down scene was one for the books! Regina played a fed up mother and wife with an unappreciative and philandering husband who in the end, ran his car into the LA River and beat him with a belt while he slid across a baby oil-filled bathroom floor...naked. Women scorned around the country learned a new trick from that scene that kept men on high alert!

    Ray
    She could have won a Supporting Actress Oscar for her scene snatching acting as one of Ray Charles' mistresses. Women were clapping in theaters when she passionately chimed in on his famous “Hit The Road Jack” after an attempt he made to discredit their relationship and deny their unborn child.

    Southland
    Playing LAPD Officer Lydia Adams for TNT’s cop drama, the show ended in 2013, but had a lasting affect.

    What's your fav Regina King moment?
     
    Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda and trulybrenda.wordpress.com

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    iStock/monkeybusinessimages
    By Charlene Rhinehart

    There’s no shortage of news about the evolution of women-owned businesses in the past few decades. More women are diving into entrepreneurship and earning a bigger piece of the financial pie that keeps the economy moving. According to the 2018 State of Women-Owned Business Report, commissioned by American Express, the number of women-owned businesses increased by nearly 3,000% since 1972. The report examines trends in women businesses, including black women-owned businesses, based on the 2012 Survey of Business owners and annual gross domestic product estimates.

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    By Erickka Sy Savané

    My bunion was hurting me something fierce! For the longest I didn’t even know I had one. One day, I noticed this little round bone poking out the right side of the ball of my foot like a little door knob. Sometimes it would get sensitive when I wore certain shoes and hurt. Thank goodness, for google. When I realized it was a bunion I was in total shock because bunions are for old people, cartoon characters, and people who neglect their feet. Not gorgeous young women such as myself who love a good neon polish and foot scrub. Welp. So I’m at the doctor, trying to figure out what I can do to get rid of this thing when he informs me that not only do I have a bunion, I also have a bunionette (a what?!!!!!) on the other side of that same foot, and hammer toe. GoodGodAlmighty will he have to amputate my foot?! How did this happen?

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    “First, let’s measure your foot,” says the doctor. And the news just gets more bizarre. He tells me that my size 9 foot is actually a 10 ½. “No, that can’t be right,” I say. “Can you measure it again?” He does just that and it’s a 10 ½. By now I’m thinking something is wrong with his measuring utensil, but I’m not going to whoop his ass about it. He tells me that it’s not uncommon for feet to grow, which goes against everything that I learned in school in terms of how we stop growing around 18-19 years old. I always assumed that feet were included in that equation. He says my feet issues are because my shoes are too small. The cure? No amputation or surgery- just start buying the correct size shoes and come back next week with some running shoes in size 10 ½ so he can make me a foam to fit inside it to support and protect my feet.

    I won’t lie. I left there not sure if I fully believed that my foot was a size 10 ½. Maybe it was vanity but I just couldn’t picture myself with NBA basketball player feet. I had my own little test that I would run the next day with a pair of brand new Nike running shoes that I hadn’t worn yet. I’d wear them on my 10 laps around the track and if my feet felt fine this doctor could take his size 10 ½ and shove it.

    So I wear my brand new Nikes feeling real Colin Kaerpernick #justdoit when halfway through my run that bunion catches fi-YAH and burns a hole right through my shoe! Oh shit, the doc was right, those shoes were better suited for a newborn! And while I could accept defeat, yes, my feet were big as hell, the real issue for me was how I missed it.

    How did I miss a bunion, bunionette and hammer toe...all signs that my feet had grown? Was it because of what I learned as a kid? The more I thought about it, I realized that my mind had become fixed. A blue sky could never be red even if there was an apocalypse. I started thinking about the other things in my life that my mind could be fixed about. Like white people. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that these times we’re living in have me looking at white people as if they’re all either racist or accomplices to racism. And even when I see white people fighting against the very same things I’m fighting about, maybe even spending more time and money than me, I can’t see it. I’m fixed. I start thinking about the ways that people have me fixed. Sometimes my husband will bring up something I did 10 years ago and even though I’ve changed 10 thousand ways since then he can't see it because his mind is fixed. Sometimes nothing we do will change how people see us or how we see them...or in my case...how we see ourselves...Thank God for these jacked up feet.

     Have you ever had a fixed mind about something though all signs were showing you something different?
    Erickka Sy Savané is managing editor of CurlyNikki.com, a wife, mom, and freelance writer based in Jersey, City, NJ. Her work has appeared in Essence.comEbony.com, Madamenoire.com, xoNecole.com, and more. When she’s not writing...wait, she’s always writing! Follow her on Twitter, Instagram or  ErickkaSySavane.com

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    Jay Ellis
    By Mwabi Kaira

    A petition floated around the internet demanding that Lawrence return to Insecure when it was assumed that he wouldn’t appear on Season 3. Team Lawrence championed hard and fans of the show were pleasantly surprised when Issa ran into him at the 7-11 while she was at Coachella. Lawrence has been on every episode since then and his story line has been interesting to watch. To get over Issa he got on top of a lot of women, and a visit to the doctor scares him right on over to Church. Although both Issa and Lawrence have moved on and agree that friendship is the best thing for them right now, this week’s episode has them getting coffee and reminiscing and we are reminded of why they worked when times were good. The episode ends with viewers wondering if they’re going to give their relationship one more shot.

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    Nathan & Issa
    I want to be excited for them but I love how open Issa is with her new Boo Nathan; she really shows up as her whole awkward self and Nathan accepts her just as she is. Let's be clear, I’m mad at Nathan for appearing to be the perfect boyfriend then disappearing without explanation and putting Issa through such unnecessary changes. Had Nathan not ghosted Issa she would not be sharing time and space with Lawrence and reminiscing about their good times together. The same goes for Lawrence, his scare, and newfound salvation search. If they hadn't happened he’d still be mad at Issa. Issa and Lawrence default to the familiar because they know how it feels and it is safe. Accepting that Nathan has possibly walked away after awakening something in her she didn’t know she possessed, is a hard pill for Issa to swallow. Lawrence tries to do what his boys do and wild out but it has never worked for him and he prefers to be a one-woman man. When things with Issa were good they were really good and he yearns for that again and not this mess he has created for himself.

    Is it possible to get back with your ex after so much bad history is shared? The simple answer is absolutely, but only if you are both willing to do the work. No one wants to be kept in the prison of their wrongdoing by having it be brought up all the time. Since cheating was involved, getting trust back will be an issue for them as well. Couples get back together all the time but major conversations have to be had to get through the hump. On one hand, you know exactly what works for you both, but on the other hand, you’re signing back up for those things that bothered you to the nth power that may have been kicked up more notches since you’ve been apart.

    Issa & Lawrence
    Am I here for Issa and Lawrence 2.0? I can’t see them shutting out the noise that will come from their friend circle. It will be cute for a minute and then the moment one of them comes in late, accusations will fly. Yes, I’m a cynic but I have lived and learned and seen it all. Unless couple therapy is involved, I don’t see it for them. They became better versions of themselves while they were apart for a reason. Issa would have never had the courage to quit her job and follow her dreams if she hadn’t met Nathan. Lawrence would have never manned up and gone after the great job he has now and gotten his house had he stayed with Issa. It’s not either of their fault, they just got in a relationship rut that they couldn’t climb out of. They decided to end things after trying everything to salvage it. Coming together now only because they’re confused is just another very insecure twenty-something moment. Getting back together for the wrong reasons is never a good idea.

    Insecure’s season finale will air on September 30 at 10:30 PM.

    Should you go back to an ex once you've moved on?
    Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world.  She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993.  Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy.  She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon.  Keep up with her athttp://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com

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