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| Dr. Jen Caudle, Nikki, Dr. OZ & Guest |
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| Photo via Dr. Jen Caudle's IG Page |
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Nikki's on Dr. OZ Today Talking About What Stress & Anxiety Can Do to Your Hair
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Find Out If You Won a 'Blessed' Key Chain by WriteNowFaithDesigns!
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| WriteNowFaithDesigns We asked you to tell us why you're blessed and you. did. that. Find out if you won a key chain by WriteNowFaithDesigns! |
2) lorieluv
3) nylse
4) Natural MiMi
5) Joyce Shulman
6)
7) Megan M.
Congrats Winners!
You have 1 week to send your address with 'WriteNowFaithDesigns Winner' in the subject line in an email to nikki@curlynikki.com!
Stephan & Kanisha
WriteNowFaithDesigns was started the summer of 2018 by Christian brother and sister duo Kanisha Parks (who happens to be one of our esteemed CurlyNikki writers!) and her 16-year-old brother Stephan. They began designing custom handmade Christian License plates, key chains and cute decals/stickers as a simple and effortless way that people can carry a little bit of Jesus with them wherever they go! Visit their site to see more gift-friendly designs!
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This Filmmaker Required NATURAL HAIR for Her Cast & There's a Really Good Reason Why
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| Sens Dessus Dessous Cast |
By Ta-ning Connai
Matamba Kombila is not your average filmmaker. While most directors have the primary focus of creating stories to engage their audience, she takes it a step further with goals to impact her cast through a hair challenge aimed to build true self-esteem. Who in the world does something like that?
Matamba did that.
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| Matamba (right) on set |
Through her short film series, Sens Dessus Dessous (Upside Down), Matamba tells a story which reveals that the hearing impaired are no different that anyone else and that they should be seen and regarded with the dignity and respect they deserve, as well as have access to better education, quality job training and employment equality. It is her hope that doors of unity will be opened, that the bridge of isolation will be closed and that the stigma placed on such differences will one day be erased.
Matamba incorporated some interesting regulations into her project that, in and of itself, is a pretty bold story that also needs to be told. All of her talent was required to either wear their hair natural or they had to wear headwraps that reflected the beauty and richness of African culture. Now that's all good, a beautiful thing indeed, but you know how we black women are about our hair! So, demanding we let go of the styles we believe fit us the most, especially on film where we will be seen by tons of people, could be a problem in the making. But Matamba approached her talented crew with such amazing grace and some really amazing things happened...
See, many women in the region have been struggling with issues of natural hair. No different than here in the good ol’ USA, the “supposed” superiority of western culture had its evil way and the brainwashing tactics intended to redefine the beauty standards from colonization still exist today. Euro-influenced styles and textures are deemed as best, and weaves, wigs and relaxer kits saturate the market. No stranger to the ups and downs of her own hair struggle- as a child, Matamba was proud to don a short trimmed fro and the occasional braids, but as a teen she switched over to perms and color that eventually made her hair fall out- now she wants to encourage young women to overcome the temptation to conform to standards that cause them to permanently abandon and develop disdain for their own unique beauty.
Knowing that her target audience (teens and tweens) are a very captive audience, she vowed to only represent natural hair in her film series. But while actors are accustomed to making drastic changes in appearance for a role, she was actually working with a lot of students. So she kindly schooled them on the dangers of hair processing and long term possibilities of hair loss. More importantly, she pointed them to the true beauty that lay beneath their relaxers, wigs and weaves. Sister Matamba was preaching the truth!
Didn't take much else for her crew to give real hair a try and they actually loved how they looked! And those who were hesitant to change on the spot, were pleased with the regalness the headwraps brought about. For most, au naturale became a permanent way of life and that's only the beginning! Hopefully, her film will do the same to change the way we look at natural hair.
To keep up with Matamba's project, follow her IG!, website & Indiegogo campaign!
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What do you think about Matamba's choice to feature natural hair in her film?
TA-NING is a former model and clothing designer who one day got the "call" to leave the fab world of fashion behind. While in Bible College, she discovered her knack for mixing her quirky style of writing with her gift to teach. TA-NING'S TELL IT TUESDAY is a weekly column that uses doses of pop culture to tear down the walls of churchy tradition, change the face of Christianity, and present it's message in a lively way. Ta-ning resides in Santa Monica (by way of BK), is obsessed with dogs, and is an old school Hip-Hop junkie!
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How Long Will Women Sing About Men Doing Wrong Instead of Demanding That They Actually Do Right?
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| Queen Naija |
I heard a song called Medicine by Queen Naija on the radio the other day and immediately thought, “Oh, we’re still doing this.” Each generation hopes that the one behind it gets all that we got wrong right. I really enjoy watching young girls being so sure of themselves these days and I foolishly thought that they had found the formula and were done taking mess from men but the song confirmed that they are out here still discovering that not all men do right and will treat you like an option and not a priority if you let them. In the song, Queen Naija laments about her man ignoring her lately, seeing calls from “just friends” and him coming in at 6 in the morning. She is frustrated because she has been faithful and says she knows what she has to do and turns the tables and gives him a taste of his own medicine...
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She sings:
“How would you like it if I do the things you do
Put you on do not disturb and entertain these dudes
I’ma ride him crazy and you’ll never have a clue
Give another guy everything that belongs to you
I’ma call up Brian, I’ma FaceTime Ryan
I’ma text Lorenzo and I’ma leave you cryin’
Don’t get it twisted I can play this game too
How would you like it if I did the same to you, same to you yeah?”
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| Ciara in 'Like a Boy' video |
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| Beyonce in 'If I Were a Boy' video |
It’s a fact that most men can’t handle being mis-treated once the tables are turned. The gender status quo has set it up this way. Very few people call men out for their messed up behavior towards women and are instead celebrated for reckless behavior. As I listened to Queen Naija’s song I wondered why we keep wishing, willing and waiting for the these men to do right all the while allowing the behavior that brings us to this point. Why can’t we instead call men out on their foolishness and refuse to put up with it? When will we know our worth? Can we stop wishing for scenario’s of giving them a taste of their own medicine or changing genders for the day and just stand in our power and say, 'Move on, Sir, we are not doing this over here?' Because it’s not about wishing we were a boy it’s about accepting that we’re queens.
Are you frustrated with songs that mis the mark? Share some.
Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world. She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993. Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy. She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon. Keep up with her athttp://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com
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True Story: The One Time I Disobeyed My Mom She Kicked Me Out
By Onicia Muller
“Get out of my house! You think you grown?!
After seven long years of high school (it’s a Dutch/Caribbean island thing), I had less than a month before leaving for college. I could practically smell the jet fuel and salted peanuts! However, what was supposed to be a summer of fun parties and sappy goodbyes became known as the summer my mom kicked me out.
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My older sister was visiting for the first time since leaving about three-ish years earlier. We were excited, we were grown-ish, and we were ready to have the best summer ever. Because my sister’s birthday fell after school let out, she never got to treat her classmates. It didn’t help that we were also often away on holiday so she couldn’t even invite her friends over. Our parents weren’t down for swapping birthdays (yup, I even offered to trade dates with her) or celebrate a month early. This year was going to be different because she and her friends were not tied to the school holiday calendar or parents with ridiculous curfews. As a soon-to-be 21-year-old, she was ready to celebrate in style: clubbing with the girls!
Her demands were simple: a banging dress, a cute squad, a jumpin’ club, and wheels. Anything with four tires and a running engine would do. Since she’d spent the past year saving up cash, she didn’t need our parents' help or permission -- or so we thought.
I was eighteen; old enough to go clubbing, but not old enough to stay out without my mother’s permission. My sister needed -- not just wanted -- me to go with her because she didn’t have a drivers’ license.
Roadblock. Our mom, the devout church lady, was not having it. Clubbing was for whores and she didn’t think I was responsible enough for a rental. No biggie, we would just ask our dad. What good is divorce if you can’t pit your parents against each other? I mean, no one likes to play bad cop.
As expected, my dad said “yes.” Technically, he said “I don’t see why not. I’m down if your mom is down.” The half consent was good enough for us! We rushed over to the car rental and secured our wheels for the weekend. Worst case scenario, we ask for forgiveness after our parents finished squabbling with each other.
Saturday night arrived and we got ready for an epic night out. We planned to leave while our mom was away doing church lady things.
My sister wasn’t surprised or disappointed when I choose not to actually enter the club; I was the good girl, the obedient child, the one focused on books instead of boys. The club wasn’t my scene. I just wanted to gift my sister a perfect birthday by being her chauffeur. Once she and her friends hopped out the minivan, I found some free parking and went straight to sleep.
As agreed, at two in the morning, I pulled up to the club’s entrance where my sister and her friends were waiting. We dropped everyone home and made it back to our mom’s house around five thirty. We arrived together. We left together. No one got sloppy drunk or into any fights. My sister also got some awesome photos. All in all, it seemed like a successful night to me.
“Get out of my house! You think you grown?! Well, then go live with Roberto or whoever you got that ride from!” my mother screamed.
Record break. Our mom was livid. Talk about super awkward because our younger sister and her friend who was sleeping over had to sit through the entire tongue lashing.
It was time to enact plan B. When we were able to get a word in, we told her that we had permission from our dad to rent the car and go. Monkeywrench: our dad totally did a 180 and told our mom that he did not and left us hanging. We were expecting them to squabble it out while we caught up on sleep.
My sister was expecting me to beg for forgiveness while she searched for somewhere to stay, because it was unlikely that I would actually leave the house. Plot twist. I called my mom’s bluff, told my sister to pack her ish, and we peeled out with the minivan. This was was actually a dramatically triumphant moment for me. Teenage me could be described as “servile” or “obedient to a fault.” However, I was done after eighteen years of “try harder, do better.” I was broken. I knew we weren’t in the wrong. I didn’t even go inside the nightclub and I made everyone wear their seatbelt.
I -- the child who only got spanked once; who was on the honor roll and had perfect attendance several times -- was being kicked out for one night of partying. I mean, sure full permission would have been ideal, but we had at least one adult co-sign the night’s events. I was eighteen!
With 14 days before my student flight to the Netherlands was set to take off, my sister and I spent the rest of her ‘baller vacation’ money on a hotel. We didn’t tell our mom where we were. I don’t even know why we allowed our dad and his treacherous butt to visit us, but we did.
Two days before my flight, I scheduled a meeting with my mom. I’d spent the last twelve days praying and reflecting -- yes, I really was that child. The meeting was civilized, no cursing but also no real resolution. We didn't speak for about three months after moving to Europe. It took about six months of semi-regular calls for us to re-establish our roles and boundaries. The calls were informal family therapy sessions.
My lesson? No matter what you do, you can’t please everyone. Just because someone seems like an authority figure doesn’t mean you should obey them blindly. When you believe in something, you must stick to your guns no matter the consequences.
Over all, my mom kicking me out after one night of clubbing was the best thing to happen to me because it taught me to stand up for myself. My mom is actually very good at raising younger children. However, young adults require more autonomy; you have to accept that it's okay for people to have different lifestyle preferences. The problem with my mom is that she wanted us to make zero mistakes, she's learning that we can do things differently and not be wrong.
About 6-12 months after the incident, our relationship improved because we don’t obey out of fear; we communicate, negotiate, and -- most importantly -- agree to disagree. We repeated the cycle when my sisters and I got married and had kids. My mom is a trooper and very willing to grow. When we hit a rough patch I don't dispare because I'm confident we can come to a positive resolution.
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“Get out of my house! You think you grown?!
After seven long years of high school (it’s a Dutch/Caribbean island thing), I had less than a month before leaving for college. I could practically smell the jet fuel and salted peanuts! However, what was supposed to be a summer of fun parties and sappy goodbyes became known as the summer my mom kicked me out.
Continue
My older sister was visiting for the first time since leaving about three-ish years earlier. We were excited, we were grown-ish, and we were ready to have the best summer ever. Because my sister’s birthday fell after school let out, she never got to treat her classmates. It didn’t help that we were also often away on holiday so she couldn’t even invite her friends over. Our parents weren’t down for swapping birthdays (yup, I even offered to trade dates with her) or celebrate a month early. This year was going to be different because she and her friends were not tied to the school holiday calendar or parents with ridiculous curfews. As a soon-to-be 21-year-old, she was ready to celebrate in style: clubbing with the girls!
Her demands were simple: a banging dress, a cute squad, a jumpin’ club, and wheels. Anything with four tires and a running engine would do. Since she’d spent the past year saving up cash, she didn’t need our parents' help or permission -- or so we thought.
I was eighteen; old enough to go clubbing, but not old enough to stay out without my mother’s permission. My sister needed -- not just wanted -- me to go with her because she didn’t have a drivers’ license.
Roadblock. Our mom, the devout church lady, was not having it. Clubbing was for whores and she didn’t think I was responsible enough for a rental. No biggie, we would just ask our dad. What good is divorce if you can’t pit your parents against each other? I mean, no one likes to play bad cop.
As expected, my dad said “yes.” Technically, he said “I don’t see why not. I’m down if your mom is down.” The half consent was good enough for us! We rushed over to the car rental and secured our wheels for the weekend. Worst case scenario, we ask for forgiveness after our parents finished squabbling with each other.
Saturday night arrived and we got ready for an epic night out. We planned to leave while our mom was away doing church lady things.
My sister wasn’t surprised or disappointed when I choose not to actually enter the club; I was the good girl, the obedient child, the one focused on books instead of boys. The club wasn’t my scene. I just wanted to gift my sister a perfect birthday by being her chauffeur. Once she and her friends hopped out the minivan, I found some free parking and went straight to sleep.
As agreed, at two in the morning, I pulled up to the club’s entrance where my sister and her friends were waiting. We dropped everyone home and made it back to our mom’s house around five thirty. We arrived together. We left together. No one got sloppy drunk or into any fights. My sister also got some awesome photos. All in all, it seemed like a successful night to me.
“Get out of my house! You think you grown?! Well, then go live with Roberto or whoever you got that ride from!” my mother screamed.
Record break. Our mom was livid. Talk about super awkward because our younger sister and her friend who was sleeping over had to sit through the entire tongue lashing.
It was time to enact plan B. When we were able to get a word in, we told her that we had permission from our dad to rent the car and go. Monkeywrench: our dad totally did a 180 and told our mom that he did not and left us hanging. We were expecting them to squabble it out while we caught up on sleep.
My sister was expecting me to beg for forgiveness while she searched for somewhere to stay, because it was unlikely that I would actually leave the house. Plot twist. I called my mom’s bluff, told my sister to pack her ish, and we peeled out with the minivan. This was was actually a dramatically triumphant moment for me. Teenage me could be described as “servile” or “obedient to a fault.” However, I was done after eighteen years of “try harder, do better.” I was broken. I knew we weren’t in the wrong. I didn’t even go inside the nightclub and I made everyone wear their seatbelt.
I -- the child who only got spanked once; who was on the honor roll and had perfect attendance several times -- was being kicked out for one night of partying. I mean, sure full permission would have been ideal, but we had at least one adult co-sign the night’s events. I was eighteen!
With 14 days before my student flight to the Netherlands was set to take off, my sister and I spent the rest of her ‘baller vacation’ money on a hotel. We didn’t tell our mom where we were. I don’t even know why we allowed our dad and his treacherous butt to visit us, but we did.
Two days before my flight, I scheduled a meeting with my mom. I’d spent the last twelve days praying and reflecting -- yes, I really was that child. The meeting was civilized, no cursing but also no real resolution. We didn't speak for about three months after moving to Europe. It took about six months of semi-regular calls for us to re-establish our roles and boundaries. The calls were informal family therapy sessions.
My lesson? No matter what you do, you can’t please everyone. Just because someone seems like an authority figure doesn’t mean you should obey them blindly. When you believe in something, you must stick to your guns no matter the consequences.
Over all, my mom kicking me out after one night of clubbing was the best thing to happen to me because it taught me to stand up for myself. My mom is actually very good at raising younger children. However, young adults require more autonomy; you have to accept that it's okay for people to have different lifestyle preferences. The problem with my mom is that she wanted us to make zero mistakes, she's learning that we can do things differently and not be wrong.
About 6-12 months after the incident, our relationship improved because we don’t obey out of fear; we communicate, negotiate, and -- most importantly -- agree to disagree. We repeated the cycle when my sisters and I got married and had kids. My mom is a trooper and very willing to grow. When we hit a rough patch I don't dispare because I'm confident we can come to a positive resolution.
Do you have a smooth transition into adulthood with your mom?
Onicia Muller is a Caribbean writer and comedian currently freezing her buns off in Chicago. A former crime reporter and children’s columnist, she's found her happy place writing about women in entertainment. If you're into oversharing, read her weekly humor column Just Being Funny in The Daily Herald’s Weekender. In June 2018, she received IGNITE Caribbean's 30 Under 30 Caribbean American Emerging Leaders and Changemakers award for her work as a cultural influencer.
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6 SPF Must-Haves That Ensure Your Black Won't Crack This Summer
By Kandice Guice
Contrary to popular belief, SPF products are a vital summer essential for melanin folks too.
Although darker skin tones are less susceptible to sunburn, they are still at risk of damaging skin effects without the proper protection. These effects include dryness, skin irritation, fine lines, and wrinkles. Such exposure may also result in more serious effects like skin cancer. Incorporating beauty products and sunscreen into your regular routine drastically lowers the risk of skin damage from excessive sun exposure. Here's a rundown of my SPF product bible for summer:
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Tell It Tuesday: Naomi Campbell & the Secret to Staying Lit
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| Naomi Campbell |
By Ta-ning Connai
All Hail the Queen...the queen of beauty and fashion that is. Naomi Campbell got crowned Fashion Icon at the CFDA Awards recently and no model deserves it more. Over 30 years in a youth-obsessed biz, now that's the real definition of longevity! And though she makes it look effortless, her journey was not easy.
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Naomi werked it all day EVERY DAY. She's got over 500 magazine covers, including the first black woman on the cover of Time Magazine...she’s worked with greats like Versace, Burberry, Valentino and Chanel, but it doesn't mean she hasn’t been affected by racism nonetheless.
In the 90’s, the highly coveted beauty was one of six models who collectively inspired the phrase we all now know as “Supermodel.” However, she never got the major endorsement deals or pay rates that her white counterparts did.
Ms. Campbell has made a lot of positive changes since her glory days though. She removed herself from the spotlight for a while, got sober and even reached back to help director Lee Daniels and designer Marc Jacobs to get sober too. And while in anger management (a requirement for hitting folks with cell phones!), she took the initiative to realize her issues, which is the only way these programs actually work.
Fashion for Relief is a charity founded by Naomi and it has helped raise over 6 million dollars for various causes. She also joined forces with famed modeling agent Bethann Hardison and model-turned-mogul, Iman, in the fight for diversity, which has proven to be an effective team for demanding more color in the game. Just last year alone, a bit over 35% of the models working New York Fashion Week were black, which is huge considering that “white only" catwalks are constantly the norm. And just this February, history was made as Anok Yai became the second black woman to open Prada’s show in over 20 years. You know who was #1? NAOMI CAMPBELL! And Anok graciously praised her for paving the way!
Even with Naomi having a dark and checkered past, her legacy is filled with inspiration. Yeah and so what, her light got dim, but once again she is LIT.
Naomi was too through when she lost everything...the family biz, property, husband AND sons (Ruth Ch. 1-4). With nothing left and nothing she could possibly do, Naomi could no longer even bear the sound of her own name. She demanded to be called Mara instead; but Mara means bitter and bitter ain't sweet, which means she was in a funk so deep and dark a cloud couldn't compete! Yet there must've been some kind of inner glow going on because her daughter-in-law, Ruth (who lost everything too), suddenly declared allegiance to Naomi's God and vowed to never leave her side.
So, wait a minute...You mean to tell me that we can be at the end of our rope, too through to cope, completely out of hope, and God can STILL use our dim and seemingly snuffed fire to ignite flameless souls? According to Matthew 5:16, the answer is an astounding YES!
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."Naomi's wisdom hooked Ruth up to the T! When the fly guy came chasing, she schooled Ruth on how to do things right. In the end, Ruth got her man without having to get got, Naomi got her land back AND a grandbaby that was part of lineage of Jesus Christ! Naomi had a moment of darkness, but Ruth saw she was still LIT!
When we're at our best, we have no doubt that we are the radiant, blazing, beams of sunshine we were oh so destined to be. But sometimes we're gonna feel like a tiny matchstick drenched by a tall, gigantic bucket of water. Thankfully, our light is not predicated on our good deeds, our wondrous circumstances or the right timing in our lives. Now if you acting a fool and you're way off track, your light needs a major inspection! But to those who walk the walk (not just talk the talk) your light ain't going nowhere! And just like with Naomi, somewhere there's a Ruth being inspired by your shine!
Who's been the biggest inspiration in your life?
TA-NING is a former model and clothing designer who one day got the "call" to leave the fab world of fashion behind. While in Bible College, she discovered her knack for mixing her quirky style of writing with her gift to teach. TA-NING'S TELL IT TUESDAY is a weekly column that uses doses of pop culture to tear down the walls of churchy tradition, change the face of Christianity, and present it's message in a lively way. Ta-ning resides in Santa Monica (by way of BK), is obsessed with dogs, and is an old school Hip-Hop junkie!
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Lusaka July, Zambia's Version of the Met Gala, Is a Royalty Explosion!
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| Cleo Clementine & Natasha Van Der Moss |
Every socialite and fashionista looks forward to that one event each year where they can don their finest fashions and be seen. In America, fashion enthusiasts wait for the annual Met Gala, where the most famous faces from the realms of fashion, film, music and art come together to raise money for the Met's Costume Institute and celebrate the grand opening of its latest exhibition. We wait to see pictures of arrivals and become fashion analysts, picking out our favorite looks. In Lusaka, Zambia’s capital city, the event of the year where we do the same is Lusaka July.
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The event is a spin-off of the glamorous Durban July where socialites indulge in fashion, luxury and style. The 3rd annual Lusaka July event was successfully held this past weekend at Lusaka Polo Club. Over the years, the event has grown to become a “must attend” for A-Listers, socialites and corporates in the region, with its unique combination of fashion, entertainment and a live polo match! The theme this year was Colony of Wealth, designed to encourage attendees to express the richness and diversity of African fashion and imagine themselves as royalty through their outfits.
Mission accomplished.
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The event is a spin-off of the glamorous Durban July where socialites indulge in fashion, luxury and style. The 3rd annual Lusaka July event was successfully held this past weekend at Lusaka Polo Club. Over the years, the event has grown to become a “must attend” for A-Listers, socialites and corporates in the region, with its unique combination of fashion, entertainment and a live polo match! The theme this year was Colony of Wealth, designed to encourage attendees to express the richness and diversity of African fashion and imagine themselves as royalty through their outfits.
Mission accomplished.
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| Cleo Clementine Singer Cleo Clementine aka 'the ice queen' shows us how to rock faux fur in July! |
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| leclosetboutique |
Stripe a chord with this dress by leclosetboutiqueis and hat by @anitaferreiradesigns
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| Guest with model Fred Jacksons |
This is how you step into a gala.
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| Cassey Malaika Cassey is truly the Queen of Hearts! |
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| Maps Maponyane& Mr. Mulenga II Royal to a T. |
This dress is a winner coming and going!
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| Vigilante Jones |
| Mukuni Mulundika (center) and these two beauties did not come to play! |
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| Boitumelo Thulo Boity is the true definition of a Queen!  |
Rapper Bombshellgrenade blew up the spot with this one!
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| Natasha Van Der Moss Natasha shows us how to strike a serious pose! ********* What do you think about the fashions from the Gala? Do you have a favorite look? Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world. She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993. Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy. She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon. Keep up with her athttp://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com |
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BET’s Docu-Series VIXEN Explores the Rise & Fall of the Video Model
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| Rapper Nelly with video model in his Tip Drill music video |
After watching BET’s 30-minute digital docu-series “VIXEN," I was left wondering: was video modeling a legitimate starting point for Hollywood hopefuls that could spearhead a dream career? And did the supposed tell-all 'Confessions of a Video Vixen' by Karrine Steffans change the narrative and perception of video models to hoes?
The series aired in three parts and exposed the rise and fall of the video modeling world. It opens by detailing how curvier girls of black and brown shades were ushered in as rappers’ leading ladies during hip hop’s heyday of multi-million dollar productions to accompany and promote their music to the masses. Where singers could rely on their voices and choreography, record executives honed in on exotic features and hour glass frames to make their sells. The marketing plan was to showcase the opulence of the rags to riches - with male viewers envious of their favorite rapper’s arm candy and female viewers desiring to be the leading ladies of the wealthy. What execs didn’t anticipate was just how famous these leading ladies would become.
Models would bounce from video to video, often making just as much or even more than the rap stars. Why? Because, they were the main attraction. Rita Acosta boasted that she was paid as much as $10,000 per video. Imagine, three videos for a year at that rate and that equates to the average starting salary of a full-time job. Models were treated like gold on set with their own trailers, wardrobe stylists and more.
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| Former Video Model Melyssa Ford covers KING Magazine |
With the addition of urban hip hop magazines like KING and Maxim, the same models became the cover girls thanks to a surplus of requests from readers. One journalist during that time commented on combing through thousands of letters with fans asking, “Who was the main girl in Jay Z’s video? We want to see her.”
If you think about it, this was no different than a white actress or model on the cover of Cosmopolitan where they were given multi-page spreads and interviews to give readers and fans an opportunity to get to know them better. This led to models becoming brands, selling calendars and merchandise and even hosting gigs.
However, things began to change when Internet streaming availability impacted money from record sales. Video budgets were cut from millions to low thousands, leaving record companies unable to afford movie-like theatrics and the actors that came with it. Southern rap was beginning to boom where strip culture was thriving and as Melyssa Ford put it,
“Casting directors realized they could get a regular girl from the strip club who aesthetically looked just like me, for a lot less money who was willing to do a lot more for the job and to become famous...even wearing close to nothing or nothing at all.”Even former backup dancer Shane Johnson explained in an interview this past Spring that she hung up her dancing shoes after the emergence of video models, specifically strippers with Shane saying,
“The South had something to say during Hip Hop’s peak in the late 90s and early 2000s, and we weren’t down for that so I let it go.”Video models were phased out and vixens were born. BET helped none with the creation of late night music videos rivaling soft porn showcased in UNCUT and the fallout from Nelly’s Tip Drill visual.
According to many of the earlier pioneers who turned a video cameo into other opportunities, there was always a certain level of misogyny in the lyrics and of course they’d get hit on, but they insist the artist and co were respectful and only did what was allowed to do. Melyssa Ford proclaims, “I was the QUEEN of no. I have a man to go home to and I’m here to do a job.” But, Confessions of a Video Vixen by Karrine "Superhead" Steffans changed that perception for not just the women, but also gave rappers who were once deemed respectful a gateway to being pigs.
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| Karrine Stephans |
We all know what the book detailed and even to this day, professionals involved in the industry are still pissed. Models were all typecasts as being “industry hoes” who were eager to sleep with rappers as their claim to fame. Not that these women didn’t exist prior, there will always be some willing to do whatever to get to where they desire. But, the book didn't help and instead marginalized the culture as a whole and it did not separate Karrine’s story from the rest. It was widely assumed that all video models were the same.
Like many, I do not agree with Karrine Steffans seemingly exploiting herself and her lovers involved for profit. She knew what she was doing when she made the choice to release the book and continues to document her life in the same way for public consumption. Just recently she called out ‘Power’ star Rotimi on instagram over an alleged miscarriage. With the exception of maybe three people interviewed, she’s largely viewed as a sell out who put a negative connotation on an entire career. But there’s two things that cannot be denied as it relates to her:
If she were a man, the backlash wouldn’t have existed. Her being a black woman counted against her with black women shaming her and black men publicly denouncing her.
There’s no difference in Karrine Steffans turning her alleged sexcapades with wealthy rappers and the lifestyle it afforded her into a book and empire than Kris Jenner spearheading Kim Kardashian and co’s careers from Kim’s sextape - anyone who thinks otherwise lacks sense.
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| Amber Rose Annual SlutWalk |
The final part of the documentary exploring Confessions of a Video Vixen brings to light the idea that the book could have been ahead of its time. We are in a time now where the black sexual feminist movement is on full display. With Amber Rose’s Annual SlutWalk using one’s sexuality and free choices as power and the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements where women, black and white, are speaking out against their alleged abusers, maybe Karrine would have been celebrated versus looked down upon. And, as a result, the association with video modeling, or being a Vixen, would not have been affected.
Regardless, I think it’s an interesting discussion. Because, prior to the book, although there were some videos who pushed the envelope with the clothing and dancing featured, women were not grouped together as all being one in the same. In fact, many of our favorite celebs started out as video models and were able to jumpstart their acting careers and more, think Claudia Jordan with her success in radio, and even some of our favorite men like Omari Hardwick who is now known most as Ghost on Power. Videos are not as common now, but the outcome could have been different had the world not assumed that every video model’s story coincided with Karrines. Not to mention that it was later discovered many of the recollections in her book were exaggerated and some flat out lies. It was unfair and unfortunate. However, what the documentary did succeed at showing was the many success stories of those who chose to go beyond being eye candy. Because as we know, physical beauty fades.
Watch it right here!
What do you think about the docu-series' exploration of video modeling?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com
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Facing a Challenge? Feel IT. Walk in IT. You've Already Won. #BeHerNow
Smile. Breathe. Relax your shoulders. Silently give thanks for and send love to whatever it is you’re currently growing through. It’s only happening to remind you of your true Self, of your inner Power, of your ‘I Am.’
At any one time you may think you’re desiring a resolution to a conflict, a new car, a new home, a new relationship, but at the root of all of these little desires is your primal need to remember, know and BE what you really are. IT puts you through certain experiences to bring you Home!
#Remember #MakeTheMainThingTheMainThing #SeekYeFirstTheKingdom
Your job is to keep turning to your ‘I Am,’ the loving awareness, the inner Presence, and feeling that all is well. That’s actually the automatic response to turning within and sensing the silence of Presence— IT feels good, IT feels like general well-being, perfection— even when circumstances suggest otherwise. IT’s a felt sign, the first sign, that your blessing is HERE, even though you can’t see it yet.
When everything works out, as it always does, your #faith in Presence will be stronger. This is not blind-faith, this is felt-faith. Joel Goldsmith likened it to being in a pool, unable to swim and declaring, ‘I have faith!’ while having on water wings and rocking an inner tube of course you KNOW you’re not gonna drown. That’s the kind of faith I’m talking about. Cultivate, that. Be that. So you can finally be HER! #BeHerNow
I love you all so much and intend that you can appreciate whatever is challenging you right now. It’s truly all okay, everything is great. Feel IT and walk in IT knowing that you’ve already won. It’s done.
P.S. **the real blessing is freedom from circumstances.
The freedom to know you’re okay, no matter what. And when you truly know that all is ‘okay,’ circumstances start reflecting back to you that way. Take your power back. -Nikki Walton
Your job is to keep turning to your ‘I Am,’ the loving awareness, the inner Presence, and feeling that all is well. That’s actually the automatic response to turning within and sensing the silence of Presence— IT feels good, IT feels like general well-being, perfection— even when circumstances suggest otherwise. IT’s a felt sign, the first sign, that your blessing is HERE, even though you can’t see it yet.
When everything works out, as it always does, your #faith in Presence will be stronger. This is not blind-faith, this is felt-faith. Joel Goldsmith likened it to being in a pool, unable to swim and declaring, ‘I have faith!’ while having on water wings and rocking an inner tube of course you KNOW you’re not gonna drown. That’s the kind of faith I’m talking about. Cultivate, that. Be that. So you can finally be HER! #BeHerNow
I love you all so much and intend that you can appreciate whatever is challenging you right now. It’s truly all okay, everything is great. Feel IT and walk in IT knowing that you’ve already won. It’s done.
P.S. **the real blessing is freedom from circumstances.
The freedom to know you’re okay, no matter what. And when you truly know that all is ‘okay,’ circumstances start reflecting back to you that way. Take your power back. -Nikki Walton
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True Story: My Mother Shut Me Out When I Started Suffering from Depression at Age 14
By Shanice-J-Douglas
It has been about 10 years since the relationship that I once had with my mother transitioned into the crumbled shell that it is today. Today, the status of this non-relationship is not a bother to me, and I know that many people wouldn't understand that.
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Is Letting Your Man Style Your Hair the Ultimate Sign of Love?
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| Dan & Wendy |
Before this video I'd seen Wendy and Dan in passing. Every now and then they'd pop up on the side of my computer screen in a sponsored video, smiling like they'd just cashed a check. I even wondered if they were a real couple. Now I know. Dan Hennessey & Wendy Joseph are indeed a real couple who have been together for over 10 years (now engaged), with tons of youtube followers who tag along to see their escapades in places like Paris, Costa Rica or even the kitchen as the two chef it up. Wendy has also been known to post videos on her hair routine, which brings me to this video in which Dan attempts to get all up in her voluminous tresses to style her hair in a bun. I could count the number of times a man who wasn't a hair stylist has done my hair. One. My husband. So it made me wonder, is letting your man in your hair the ultimate sign of closeness?
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It's interesting because letting my husband do my hair took a lot of courage. I'd been stumbling around extremely unhappy with longer natural hair, two-strand twisting like my life depended on it, feeling kinda trapped in my own craziness when he suggested cutting it. Finally, I decided okay, and shocked myself when we decided the barber would be him, an amateur who had NEVER cut anyone's hair before. But at the end of the day, I couldn't imagine anyone else cutting it. After all, I had a checkered past with trusting hair dressers too and once jumped out of a stylists' chair with only one side of my hair cut. In the end, I let him do it, and it's been that way for a few years now. Sometimes he has a misstep, but we work it out. However, I don't think this is the norm. There was a story recently here on CurlyNikki where a young black woman who was friends with an old white man asked him to do her hair when she was sick and one of the commentors said that she doesn't let anyone who isn't a hair dresser touch her hair. It makes sense. Culturally, when we grow up, we're taught to take pride in our hair. So for many, that means no one touches it who isn't licensed, a close girlfriend or family member. Some women will let a man get the poonany, but touch her hair, let alone style it...nah bruh. Some won't even let you see their real hair, it gets deep.
But, I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Couples these days share so much of themselves for viewers. The McClure's who just revealed that the dad we've known is not the twins' biological father, and forget about everything we see on the Housewives or Love & Hip Hop or any of the reality shows. It's all stunts and sensationalism so letting a man style your tresses starts looking like child's play. Even still, I do think that it says something about how close you're willing to let your man get. It may not mean ever lasting love, ish happens to the best couples, but it's a pretty good sign of things to come. I wish this couple success in their future marriage and their video below is pretty fun!
Has a man you were dating ever styled your hair?
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The Real Reason It's Important Pat McGrath's 1 Billion Dollar Makeup Co. Surpasses Kylie's
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| Pat McGrath & Kylie Jenner |
Chances are, a lot of you have never heard the name Pat McGrath, the British-born makeup artist born to a single mother of Jamaican decent, who grew up loving makeup and got her start in the 80's with designers John Galliano and Alexander McQueen. Since then, she's worked just about every major fashion show in every major market, with every major photographer for every major magazine before starting her own makeup line, Pat McGrath Labs, in 2015, following her mom's advice. Today, her line is sold at PatMcGrathLabs.com, Sephora.com and its stores, and will be expanding to even more stores and will soon include merch and apparel with the 60 million dollar investment deal she just secured with a New York-based investment firm. Everything said, her company has just been valued at 1 billion dollars.
Now what do we know about Kylie?
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Perhaps a better question would be, what don't we know about Kylie, so famous that we don't have to say her last name. We know more than we probably care to know. The youngest daughter in the infamous Kardashian-Jenner klan, whose dad is former Olympian Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn, has been making headlines since she was a teen. First by dating an older rapper by the name of Tyga who was a neighbor and father to Blac China's son, then by getting lip injections, and who knows what other plastic surgery, to showing almost as much skin on instagram as her older sister Kim, a tactic that has rewarded her with 111 million followers, to recently having a baby with rapper Travis Scott, to perhaps her biggest achievement to date, her estimated 900 million dollar cosmetics company, Kylie Cosmetics, for which she earned a recent Forbes magazine cover. A few highlights from the company include selling more than $630 million worth of makeup since it was founded in 2016 and selling 19 million worth of makeup in a limited edition 'drop' in 24 hours. Mama owns 100 percent of the company, now estimated at 900 million.
Perhaps a better question would be, what don't we know about Kylie, so famous that we don't have to say her last name. We know more than we probably care to know. The youngest daughter in the infamous Kardashian-Jenner klan, whose dad is former Olympian Bruce Jenner, now Caitlyn, has been making headlines since she was a teen. First by dating an older rapper by the name of Tyga who was a neighbor and father to Blac China's son, then by getting lip injections, and who knows what other plastic surgery, to showing almost as much skin on instagram as her older sister Kim, a tactic that has rewarded her with 111 million followers, to recently having a baby with rapper Travis Scott, to perhaps her biggest achievement to date, her estimated 900 million dollar cosmetics company, Kylie Cosmetics, for which she earned a recent Forbes magazine cover. A few highlights from the company include selling more than $630 million worth of makeup since it was founded in 2016 and selling 19 million worth of makeup in a limited edition 'drop' in 24 hours. Mama owns 100 percent of the company, now estimated at 900 million.
Now a lot has been written online in the past few days about Pat's makeup company being worth more than Kylie's (900 million vs. 1 billion) and while that's great for us black women, and even for those who aren't crazy about the Kardashian/Jenner's, let's be real for a minute, both ladies are doing phenomenal. It's bigger than the extra 100 million. What we would be remiss to acknowledge about Pat's current reign as queen of makeup empires is the fact that she's done it without ever appearing half-naked or exploiting her private life in any way.
Pat has become a billion-dollar woman, like Oprah, by focusing on what she loves to do. Makeup. The product. No plastic surgery that we know of. No butt implants. No famous boyfriends. Sex tapes. Cute kids. Just makeup. Makeup. And more makeup. It's a lesson to young girls, and also women who have come to believe that it's more about what you can exploit than your creativity. Pat proves that it is possible to succeed beyond your wildest dreams if you put in the work. Just work your ass off (not just werk your ass), and see what can happen!
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| Pat McGrath |
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| Kylie Jenner |
In a press release about the merger Pat said,
"It has always been my dream to create an iconic beauty brand that goes beyond the usual limitations, that lives outside the parameters of what is expected. I am thrilled to be working with the unique and expert team at Eurazeo Brands."
And we are thrilled for you! Continued success to Pat and to all of us simple, hard-working folk everywhere!
What inspires you most about Pat's success?
Erickka Sy Savané is managing editor of CurlyNikki.com, a wife and mom, based in Jersey, City. Her work has appeared in Essence.com, Ebony.com, Madamenoire.com and more. When she’s not writing...wait, she’s always writing! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram orErickkaSySavane.com
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This Refinery 29 Mini-Doc Examines the Truth Behind Where Hair Extensions Come From
Riqua Hailes
By Erickka Sy SavanéSome of us want to know where things come from. We want to know our genealogy, where our meat comes from down to the products we put on our body, which is why DIY videos are so important. If you do it yourself, there's no question about its authenticity. Some of us are curious about where hair extensions come from, but funny enough, there's not a lot of info. out there because the business is shadier than Donald Trump's taxes. Enter Refinery 29's gem of a mini-doc that gets out into these hair extension streets, traveling to multiple countries, to uncover the truth about human hair trafficking. Now proceed with caution becuz once you know you can't not know. (Insert evil laugh)
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Anyone Buying a Lauryn Hill Ticket In 2018 Deserves Whatever She Gives Them
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| Ms. Lauryn Hill Courtesy Photo via TheMiamiTimes |
By Veronica Wells
I was in fifth grade when Lauryn Hill’s Miseducation was released. I don’t think I could overstate what that album meant to me. It changed the game for me (I would learn later, so many other young, Black women.)
A year later, during a family reunion—where we ended up in Vegas— I saw that Lauryn Hill was performing there, the day after we would have already left. I stood there on the strip, staring at that illuminated marquee, somehow knowing that I was missing something magical, some once in a lifetime event. As you know, Lauryn Hill is still performing her classic album. But if I wanted to hear what I fell in love with, the best chance of that would have been in 1999.
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This past week, Ms. Hill performed in Toronto for one of the dates for her The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill Tour. According to HipHopDx, Hill showed up over an hour late and performed for only 45 minutes. Several concertgoers claimed that she spent most the time rushing her band members and rushing through 10 songs before ending the set with a rendition of Drake’s “Nice For What,” which samples her single “Ex-Factor.”
Fans, disappointed by the set, hopped on Twitter to share their grievances.
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As a fan of Lauryn’s music, who will always regard The Miseducation as genius work, I have one thing to say to these people who bought tickets to this show, arrived to the venue on time, waited for an hour and sat through a terrible set. It’s the same thing my momma used to say to me after I defied her repeated warnings. “Maybe now you’ll learn.”
It would be different if this was the first time Lauryn had pulled something like this. But this has been her modus operandi for years now. In fact, showing up only an hour late, is an improvement. After one particular bad showing, Hill offered an explanation for her tardiness.
For the people who are still buying tickets, expecting anything else…I have no choice but to assume you enjoy being gaslit.
Going to a Lauryn Hill concert with expectations of professionalism and general decency is like dating a man who said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, expecting to get a ring. It’s like marrying T.I. and expecting fidelity. Hanging out with Snoop Dogg and expecting sobriety. Conversing with Kanye West and expecting him to honor the ancestors.
In the words of Drake, “You knew what it was when you signed up.”
At this point, I’m convinced folks are purchasing Lauryn Hill tickets just so they can complain about how terrible the show was. Or maybe they’re doing it as some form of community service, given Hill’s infamous tax issues. If that’s the case, then, perhaps, the disappointment is easier to take on the chin. But at the end of the day, you have no one to blame but yourself if you leave a Lauryn Hill concert pissed and she leaves paid.
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| Lauryn Hill performs at Festival Pier, July 13, 2018 in Philly |
Fans, disappointed by the set, hopped on Twitter to share their grievances.
As a fan of Lauryn’s music, who will always regard The Miseducation as genius work, I have one thing to say to these people who bought tickets to this show, arrived to the venue on time, waited for an hour and sat through a terrible set. It’s the same thing my momma used to say to me after I defied her repeated warnings. “Maybe now you’ll learn.”
It would be different if this was the first time Lauryn had pulled something like this. But this has been her modus operandi for years now. In fact, showing up only an hour late, is an improvement. After one particular bad showing, Hill offered an explanation for her tardiness.
“I don't show up late to shows because I don’t care. And I have nothing but Love and respect for my fans. The challenge is aligning my energy with the time, taking something that isn’t easily classified or contained, and trying to make it available for others.”This was just an excerpt from her explanation written in 2016.
If y’all still buying tickets to her shows after that, it’s on you. In the words of Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” And Lauryn not only showed us, then she told y’all she’s not going to be on time.
For the people who are still buying tickets, expecting anything else…I have no choice but to assume you enjoy being gaslit.
Going to a Lauryn Hill concert with expectations of professionalism and general decency is like dating a man who said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, expecting to get a ring. It’s like marrying T.I. and expecting fidelity. Hanging out with Snoop Dogg and expecting sobriety. Conversing with Kanye West and expecting him to honor the ancestors.
In the words of Drake, “You knew what it was when you signed up.”
At this point, I’m convinced folks are purchasing Lauryn Hill tickets just so they can complain about how terrible the show was. Or maybe they’re doing it as some form of community service, given Hill’s infamous tax issues. If that’s the case, then, perhaps, the disappointment is easier to take on the chin. But at the end of the day, you have no one to blame but yourself if you leave a Lauryn Hill concert pissed and she leaves paid.
Do you think it's time people going to Lauryn Hill concerts stop complaining?
Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter @VDubShrug.
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Starve the Negativity by Focusing on Your Perfection: #BeHerNow
To reverse this and take your life out of ‘neutral...' to finally become who you were born to be, to finally begin to love yourself unconditionally, you must take your attention away from all that you are not. You have to learn to ignore and starve your negative and limiting self concepts by focusing fully on your present perfection. It’s HERE, NOW and is felt in your body as an unbroken and effortless quiet-joy... a sense of peace, stillness, and uncaused happiness. Keep placing your attention there, feeling That, even when you’re simultaneously noticing doubt thoughts and uncomfortable feelings of insecurity. Keep dwelling in your wholeness. In your natural security. In your Divinity. Let IT live in you. Let that Joy be you, so you can be HER. #BeHerNow
To Do: In every moment, find the current of Joy and flow with that. It’s always there. Make it your number one priority to feel that innate well-being and then, carry on. Like, don’t do shit until you’re connected with That and watch how life unfolds! #IAmLovingAwareness #IAmLove
-Nikki Walton
To Do: In every moment, find the current of Joy and flow with that. It’s always there. Make it your number one priority to feel that innate well-being and then, carry on. Like, don’t do shit until you’re connected with That and watch how life unfolds! #IAmLovingAwareness #IAmLove
-Nikki Walton
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Length Retention Tips, Hair Growth & Keeping Bleached Hair Healthy All in One Stop
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| OnlyOneJess |
Okay, so OnlyOneJess, grew a lot of hair since transitioning from relaxed to natural 3 years ago. On top of growing it and keeping it healthy and strong, you can see that it's bleached as well (clutch yo' pearls!). How did she do it? Check the video for tips on length retention, growing a gorgeous mane, and making bleach work for you, not against you. Make sure to like the video, subscribe and comment too!
How I Grew MY Natural Hair?? | Length RETENTION Tips + Keeping My Bleached Hair Healthy
+ My Hair Myths/Misconceptions -1:26
+ How Much Should Your Hair Be Growing? -2:07
+ LENGTH CHECK -3:33
+ How Long I Have Been Natural -3:45
+ TIP #1- Scalp Massages/Oiling Your Scalp - 4:21
+ TIP #2- MOISTURIZING -6:01
+ TIP #3- Deep Conditioning - 7:00
+ TIP #4- How Often Do I Shampoo? - 8:55
+ TIP #5- Proper Detangling- 10:42
+ TIP #6- How Often Should You Trim? 11:12
+ TIP #7- Protective Styling- 12:17
+ TIP #8- LOC/ LCO METHOD- 13:37
+ TIP #9- Should You Use HEAT On Your Hair? 14:16
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The Problem With Making Other Couples Your Relationship Goals
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| Tasha and Ghost of Power |
By Erickka Sy Savané
I came across this tweet by a woman who started watching early episodes of Power and came to the conclusion that Tasha (played by Naturi Naughton) and Ghost (played by Omari Hardwick) were goals. And while there was a collective belly laugh that exploded throughout the internet (more on that later) it was easy to see why this viewer would see it that way. Tasha and Ghost seem to have it all: a Manhattan apartment fit for a king and queen, beautiful kids, and a rock solid relationship that endured him going to prison, what's not to get in your goal-envying feelings about?
bonfayah Bruhhh she's about to be shooketh 😢😭
nubianhipsy_It only lasted for a second sis, couple episodes in they both showed they are a shit couple 😂😂
fantadiamantLMFAOOOOOOO
toodopeforrehab@king_auvilau yeah you watched the last episode ?
_dame_fuego_@annamichelle.040 WOOOOOOW ihr Herz wird genau so schmerzen
It happened with a couple I knew who looked so perfect that they had me looking at my own relationship with a side-eye. That was until he cheated on her with one of our friends in the messiest way. They ended up staying together, but let's just say they were no longer anyone's goals after that.
It happens a lot with celebrity couples. We put them on a pedestal, make them our relationship ideal, just for them to throw a curve ball into our perfect picture. It happened with Jay and Bey where it took a very public elevator spat and an album called 'Lemonade' to show us that smiling pretty on a yacht doesn't equal an enviable relationship. It happens when couples like Mary J. Blige and her manager/ex-husband Kendall, Grey's Anatomy's Jesse Williams and Aryn Drake-Lee and even Tamar and Vince breakup, showing us that they never really had the key. We're continuously bombarded with 'perfect' couples on IG and Facebook to the point that we have to take a social media break just to keep our sanity. All these goals but where do they lead?
Rarely do we look at that simple couple who have been thugging it out in our own family as goals. My mom was just telling me about a cousin whose relationship started off as the opposite of ideal. She got pregnant as a teen and left town in shame to have her baby elsewhere. When she came back a few years later, she was married to someone else. Eventually, that marriage ended, and she reconnected with her first boyfriend (and baby's father). They ended up getting married, having 3 more kids, and have been married, happily, for over 50 years. What didn't start off as a goal, now looks goaly to anyone looking for a relationship based on love and longevity.
So the question becomes, how do we choose our relationship goals?
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| Barack and Michelle |
Do you get caught up thinking that other couples are better than yours?
Erickka Sy Savané is managing editor of CurlyNikki.com, a wife and mom, based in Jersey, City. Her work has appeared in Essence.com, Ebony.com, Madamenoire.com and more. When she’s not writing...wait, she’s always writing! Follow her on Twitter and Instagram or ErickkaSySavane.com
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Singer Leela James is a Naturally Glam Diva
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| Leela James |
By Michelby Coco Whitehead
Leela James always remains consistent for the culture. Whether she’s giving us soulful hits or wearing her natural crown and glory, both are equally amazing. We recently chatted with the former R&B Divas star to get the scoop on her hair care tips, mommy duties, and the next phase of her career. Check out our latest Naturally Glam feature with the one and only Leela James!
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Popular YouTube vlogger Funky Dineva recently compared your vocals to Aretha Franklin’s. How does that make you feel since R&B music doesn’t get a whole lot of attention as it used to?
Honestly, it’s an honor. She’s one of the greatest to ever do it. To be mentioned in the same sentence as her is like “Wow!” It’s a compliment.
What are your feelings about reality TV? Would you do it again?
Yeah! I absolutely would if it was the right situation for me. It is what you make it. Of course, it’s entertainment, but it’s also a reflection of who you are.
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You’re one of few celebrities who has not had a PR catastrophe, or an influx of unfavorable things being said about you. How do you stay so grounded?
I just try to keep it 100 and be real. I was raised more so on “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I believe in karma, too. So, I don’t trip when people treat me bad. Karma takes care of it. If you rock on my bad side, you’ll see karma takes care of you.
Your hair has always been the epitome of #hair goals, especially in terms of growth and healthiness. Tell us about your natural hair journey.
For a long time now, like the last seven years, I’ve been natural. I didn’t do a big chop. I just wore braids while I transitioned, and it became “a look.” Although, I wasn’t trying to be trendy—I just don’t like dealing with my hair and braids worked for me.
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| Leela & Tank |
This has been a very busy year for you. At the top of 2018, you went on tour with Tank. How was that experience and how do you find work-life balance, being a mom?
The tour was REALLY good. It was a lot of work, but it was fun! You take it day-by-day. Everyday is something different. You can plan as much as you need to, but plans don’t always come together. You just go with the events as they come and do the best you can. Popular YouTube vlogger Funky Dineva recently compared your vocals to Aretha Franklin’s. How does that make you feel since R&B music doesn’t get a whole lot of attention as it used to?
Honestly, it’s an honor. She’s one of the greatest to ever do it. To be mentioned in the same sentence as her is like “Wow!” It’s a compliment.
What are your feelings about reality TV? Would you do it again?
Yeah! I absolutely would if it was the right situation for me. It is what you make it. Of course, it’s entertainment, but it’s also a reflection of who you are.
You’re one of few celebrities who has not had a PR catastrophe, or an influx of unfavorable things being said about you. How do you stay so grounded?
I just try to keep it 100 and be real. I was raised more so on “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I believe in karma, too. So, I don’t trip when people treat me bad. Karma takes care of it. If you rock on my bad side, you’ll see karma takes care of you.
Your hair has always been the epitome of #hair goals, especially in terms of growth and healthiness. Tell us about your natural hair journey.
For a long time now, like the last seven years, I’ve been natural. I didn’t do a big chop. I just wore braids while I transitioned, and it became “a look.” Although, I wasn’t trying to be trendy—I just don’t like dealing with my hair and braids worked for me.
On your natural hair journey, did you ever get frustrated with your hair and want to relax it?
Not at all. If I needed to straighten it, I’d get it pressed. Relaxer is so harsh on the hair. I had my hair colored and the addition of those chemicals always seemed like it was too much.
What are some of your favorite products?
I like a little bit of everything. But lately, I use a lot of Crème of Nature, Dr. Miracle’s, and the natural stuff like mayonnaise, carrot oil, and black castor oil.
Leela, is there anything you’d like to add or clarify at this time?
I’m working on new music coming out very soon. And I’m here!
Congratulations to Leelah on her recent nuptials! Follow her on Instagram @leelajamesofficial.
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Hairstylist & YouTuber Janay Mickles Shares Her Secrets to the Perfect Silk Press!
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| Silk press by Janay Mickles |
There is something so satisfying about witnessing shiny, flawless, bouncy, and flowy silk press results! As the resident at-home hair stylist to my three sisters and mother, it is a technique I’ve tried and failed a countless amount of times. We’ve purchased multiple flat irons—Chi, FHI, and the cheapie ones you get at the beauty supply store (seriously, don’t ever buy those). The same goes for the 15 blow dryers we have in the closet, all purchased in the name of securing silky sleek hair but only resulting in a disappointing, frizzy mess within minutes. And those are just the tools, let’s not even get started on the products . . .
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| Janay Mickles |
But when I ran across one of Janay Mickles’ videos on YouTube, I was hooked. She didn’t just have one or two videos of successful silk presses, she had several! Since starting her YouTube channel, Janay has been getting new clients every week and now she has dozens of videos showcasing her skilled blow-drying and flat ironing techniques.
From 4c natural hair to relaxed hair, Janay can do it all and never shies away from a challenge. In fact, she capitalizes on any and every opportunity to show just how skilled she truly is at straightening hair. Janay says she started doing hair at a young age but says she actually learned how to straighten natural hair by just practicing on herself!
When it comes to securing the perfect results every single time, Janay always uses her Babyliss Pro flat iron but for her it’s not just all about the tools.
From 4c natural hair to relaxed hair, Janay can do it all and never shies away from a challenge. In fact, she capitalizes on any and every opportunity to show just how skilled she truly is at straightening hair. Janay says she started doing hair at a young age but says she actually learned how to straighten natural hair by just practicing on herself!
“Around high school is when I started straightening my own hair and at that time everyone was using loads of oil to achieve the look. I was more into the lightweight look and I knew there had to be a way to achieve it on my hair without going to a salon. So I would practice using different products on my hair and seeing the results. I soon found out that the secret was little to no product!”Needless to say, she’s learned a lot since then and reveals that now, the hardest part about doing hair is,
“When people’s expectations are too high. For example, they'll want their hair to come out super silky like my videos but they aren't doing what they're supposed to be doing at home. That could be neglecting their hair or just not deep conditioning it enough or keeping up with trims. But the best part is seeing the smile on their face at the end.”Unlike some at-home stylists, Janay uses her environment to her advantage and feels it only helps her business. “I am always professional and cater to my client’s needs. I keep my place super clean and I think the clients and I enjoy the intimacy of it just being us.”
When it comes to securing the perfect results every single time, Janay always uses her Babyliss Pro flat iron but for her it’s not just all about the tools.
“The most important thing would have to be starting off on super clean hair, she says. You can do everything else correct but if you have an ounce of old product in your hair, it will ruin the style. Also, over the years, I've learned it’s all in your blow dry: that's what will make the press last. Last but not least, use little to no product. The only thing I use in most of my presses is heat protectant.”So what’s next for Janay Mickles?
“I would love to be in a salon suite in the near future and come out with a product line as well as a flat iron.”Spoken like a true boss! Keep up with Janay on YouTubeand Instagram!
How do you get the perfect silk press?
Kanisha is a Christian writer/author based in Augusta, GA. Other than CurlyNikki.com, she has also written for BlackNaps.organd Devozine, and has authored a book of poetry entitled, "Love Letters from the Master." Kanisha can be contacted for business inquiries at kanishaparks@gmail.com
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