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| Iyanla on 'Fix My Life' |
By Brenda Alexander
Iyanla has returned beloveds and one person who wasn’t here for her fixing her life was Kamiyah Mobley. Ms. Vanzant tried to help the 19-year-old, who made national news after it was discovered that a woman posing as a hospital employee abducted the infant from a Jacksonville, FL hospital and raised her as her own. Stuck with the reality of her new life and torn between loving the woman she’s known as mom and trying to build a bond with her biological family who suffered for almost two decades, things came to an explosive end after Kamiyah blew up on Iyanla and crew following a misunderstanding over an assignment Iyanla gave. It was an uncomfortable episode to watch. Kamiyah often appeared disinterested, defensive and even rarely made eye contact. Let’s take a look at 3 of the revelations that transpired on the Season 5 premiere of Iyanla Fix My Life!
While giving the backstory of Kamiyah’s abduction and discovery, Iyanla explains in the beginning of the episode that Kamiyah’s birth mother initiated contact between her family and production to sort through their issues. A few days before taping however, she backed out for reasons which weren’t made clear. Disappointed and feeling neglected, Kamiyah sits with Iyanla and expresses that she in fact wanted her mother to be part of the process but isn’t surprised by her jumping ship. Apparently, she and her birth mom have a strained relationship as Kamiyah remains in contact with her abductor; something her birth mother struggles with accepting. The two go long periods of time without communicating, often engaging in tit for tat battle on social media whenever they piss each other off. Without her birth mother present, Iyanla attempts to continue with the support of Kamiyah’s birth father, step mother and boyfriend. But, her birth mother’s absence sets the tone for the remainder of the episode with Kamiyah being guarded and unwilling to fully submit to the process.
2. Kamiyah’s Birth Father Has Trouble Asserting Himself as Her Parent
In a scene where Iyanla speaks to Kamiyah’s birth father, step mother and boyfriend, she urges them all to play a more active role in her healing moving forward; specifically her father, who takes a passive approach to parenting Kamiyah out of fear that he will lose her again. He also does not feel as if he can be an authoritative figure due to how much time was lost. Although understandable, Iyanla insists that his role has to change from a friend figure to a parent. Through conversations with Kamiyah, it’s clear that she is experiencing an internal battle between her former and present lives. Instead of working through her emotions, she tries to merge both to make everyone happy. Hence her trying to form a relationship with her birth family and keep a relationship with the mother who raised her, despite knowing what was done to her was a horrible act. Iyanla forewarns Kamiyah’s family of what’s to come if action is not taken, referring to Kamiyah’s lack of ability to express herself as recipe for disaster, a “ticking time bomb” to be exact. She explains that pacifying the situation as opposed to confronting it head-on can lead Kamiyah to a disastrous outcome in the long run. Iyanla even warns her family that she would have to trigger Kamiyah and it would cause her to be emotional or pissed. Boy, was she right.
3. Kamiyah Snaps
This seemed bound to happen. Kamiyah remained firm with Iyanla in what her boundaries were, such as referring to the woman who raised her as a liar and refusing to verbally say that she was abducted. I actually found Iyanla to be more delicate with Kamiyah than other guests who she’s pushed to the brink and she seemed to have respected her wishes. There seemed to be a moment where Kamiyah was actually beginning to let her guard down with even agreeing to Iyanla's invitation to stay overnight at the “safe house” so that they could continue to work together. That all changed abruptly when Iyanla informed Kamiyah that not only would she stay in the “safe house” by herself, but that her family would not respond to any phone calls or texts. Insults were hurled at Iyanla, items were thrown and Kamiyah’s rage was in full swing. In the end, she and her family leave and abort filming, not even returning for the second day in which Iyanla arranged a surprise meeting between Kamiyah and Carlina White, another kidnapping victim who suffered the same fate as Kamiyah.
The episode left me saddened. There are no winners in this scenario as all who are involved have and are suffering in some way. I wonder if Kamiyah’s birth mother had showed, would the outcome have been different. Her reneging seemed to be the beginning of the end. Regardless, I hope Kamiyah gets the help she will need. It’s only been a little over a year since her story was made public and it may have been just too soon for televised therapy.
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| Kamiyah & Iyanla |
This seemed bound to happen. Kamiyah remained firm with Iyanla in what her boundaries were, such as referring to the woman who raised her as a liar and refusing to verbally say that she was abducted. I actually found Iyanla to be more delicate with Kamiyah than other guests who she’s pushed to the brink and she seemed to have respected her wishes. There seemed to be a moment where Kamiyah was actually beginning to let her guard down with even agreeing to Iyanla's invitation to stay overnight at the “safe house” so that they could continue to work together. That all changed abruptly when Iyanla informed Kamiyah that not only would she stay in the “safe house” by herself, but that her family would not respond to any phone calls or texts. Insults were hurled at Iyanla, items were thrown and Kamiyah’s rage was in full swing. In the end, she and her family leave and abort filming, not even returning for the second day in which Iyanla arranged a surprise meeting between Kamiyah and Carlina White, another kidnapping victim who suffered the same fate as Kamiyah.
The episode left me saddened. There are no winners in this scenario as all who are involved have and are suffering in some way. I wonder if Kamiyah’s birth mother had showed, would the outcome have been different. Her reneging seemed to be the beginning of the end. Regardless, I hope Kamiyah gets the help she will need. It’s only been a little over a year since her story was made public and it may have been just too soon for televised therapy.
What do you think? Was appearing on the show too much too soon for this family?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com
