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| Teneica of Tea With Taneica |
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5 Mins of Fashion Fodder: Cardi B, Lupita, Asap Rocky & More!
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Love My Roomie: A Web Series Giving Millennial Black Women a Voice
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| Yhá Mourhia Wright, U’Moriah Walters and Yasmine Castillo |
By Sharee Silerio
In a nation where opinion is often viewed as fact, now, more than ever, it’s important for people of color to tell their stories, from their perspectives, truths, and experiences. A popular show that is doing this and so much more is #Love My Roomie, a web series created by screenwriter, producer, and director Yhá Mourhia Wright.
A dramatic comedy, #LMR follows the lives of three millennial roommates – Giselle Carter (African-American), Yasmine Castillo (Afro-Latina) and U’Moriah Walters (African-American) after they lose their apartment in Harlem.
A dramatic comedy, #LMR follows the lives of three millennial roommates – Giselle Carter (African-American), Yasmine Castillo (Afro-Latina) and U’Moriah Walters (African-American) after they lose their apartment in Harlem.
Wright says of why she created the series,
“Entertainment influences our culture. It influences how we treat each other. It influences implicit bias. It influences unconscious bias. It influences the ways we function in the workplace; how we are in the grocery store; all of these things. It's so important that we’re in charge of our narratives, that we are controlling what stories are being told. It’s about literally informing people of how complex, how beautiful, how diverse, how human we are. I feel like it's important for our humanity.”
Taking cues from the 90s and 2000s favorites Living Single and Girlfriends, Wright wrote and produced the dramedy’s first season, which premiered in December 2016, receiving over 35k views on Facebook and YouTube combined. The second season of #LMR explores how they – a songwriter, wannabe socialite and recently unemployed professional – find friendship, learn to cope in the midst of social and cultural expectations, and build lives that they love, all while discovering and rediscovering themselves.
Wright says,
Wright says,
“It’s about three black women who you don't really see on screen. They're all social outcasts. They’re late bloomers in their mid-to-late 20s and don't quite fit in. Call it a coming of age story – not for teens – but for women in their 20s, which is so often missed. It's like an entire decade gets skipped over.In a society that does its best to silence black women, it’s important that we uncover and confront the issues we face. The more we do this, the more courage we will have to love ourselves, exactly as we are. So if you’re looking for a web series that will make you think, laugh, cry, encourage you to heal, become your best self, and find love, then #LoveMyRoomie is the series for you! Check out the Season 2 official trailer.
I take situations that I know women of color have dealt with, that we talk about with each other and the things that we don't talk about, which to me, is even more interesting – how we can have best friends and there's certain things that they just don't know about us, because culturally, there are still some of us that struggle with being vulnerable in that way."
The second season of #LoveMyRoomiedebuts on Saturday, March 3rd at the BRIC Ballroom in Brooklyn. Purchase your tickets here. Follow Yhá Mourhia Wright on Instagram and keep up with the series on YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.
Have you seen Love My Roomie yet?
Sharee Silerio is a St. Louis-based freelance writer, Film and TV writer-producer, and blogger. When she isn’t creating content for The Root or The St. Louis American, she enjoys watching drama/sci-fi/comedy movies and TV shows, writing faith and self-love posts for SincerelySharee.com, relaxing with a cup of chai tea, crafting chic DIY event décor, and traveling. Review her freelance portfolio at ShareeSilerio.com then connect with her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
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How to Re-Moisturize DRY/CRUSTY Hair
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| Zara |
Hi Guys,
Nigeria is very dry as the current season is “Harmattan.” Depending on the region it can last for what feels like 4-5 months. During this season, my skin and hair are extremely DRY so I’m showing you how I keep it soft and moisturized. Since it's ultra low porosity, I take certain steps during the week to re-moisturize but this method is effective for anyone! Keeping water, a low pH leave-in, and a sealant, constant, are the keys to success! I hope you enjoy!
Best Wishes,
Zara “EfikZara”
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AVOID AUNTIE-ISMS: 7 WAYS TO BREAK OUT OF YOUR 40-SOMETHING STYLE RUT
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| "Cookie" |
By Kerika Fields Nalty
As a woman of a certain age, my primary life goal at this moment is to evade the lure of Auntie-ism. What is Auntie-ism? Glad you asked. It’s when a woman over 40, whether an actual auntie or not, begins to dress, behave, look and sound like one of their beloved aunts. It starts with the sweats, or that favorite pair of yoga pants. And if you’re not careful it can escalate to the notorious “mom jeans” or even a moo-moo dress. Once it sets in, constant and inappropriately timed complaints about bad knees and hot flashes are soon to follow...
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'Married at First Sight:' Can We Not Blame Relationship Struggles on Natural Hair, Please?
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| Jephte and Shawniece |
By Veronica Wells
I love me some “Married At First Sight.” While most of the couples on this Lifetime series eventually divorce, it’s fascinating to watch two strangers come together and unite in Holy Matrimony the day they meet each other. Each season, the show usually finds one Black couple to feature. Naturally, it’s the Black couple’s story I’m the most interested and invested in. But since the show’s inception, none of the Black couples have stayed together.
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This year, the Black folk are Jephte and Shawniece. The couples are matched by a panel of experts and are supposed to complement one another. But from the day Jephte and Shawniece met, I knew there were some drastic personality differences that would eventually cause some problems. Chief among them being Jephte’s cautious reserve, his hesitancy in opening up compared to Shawniece’s extroversion, affection and need to be affirmed and desired. Honestly, it is downright cringeworthy to watch. After one episode a couple of weeks ago, I questioned the reason Jephte decided to be a part of this process in the first place. I mean, if you have a problem with strangers, marrying one might not be the best strategy for your life.
But all of that is for context. We’re here today to speak about something entirely different. While the show is about love, marriage and the conflict that can arise within them, the discussion around Shawniece has been about appearance, specifically hair.
Shawniece is a cosmetologist working to eventually open up her own salon. And for the most part, on the show she wears her hair in an afro. On their wedding day she had it expertly slicked back into a bun. But in the days since, on their honeymoon, in their move back to Boston, it’s been in a fro.
In addition to the fro, she generally wears minimal makeup. I think she’s cute. Not to mention, with all of Jephte’s stuff-- causing her to cry because she feels rejected by him, her hair and makeup haven’t been at the forefront of my mind. But you know how it is with Black women and hair---especially when a Black woman appears on national television. All of a sudden she’s representing all of us. And if we don’t like it, we attempt to disassociate ourselves from the Black woman who can’t manage to take care of her hair. The response to her hair on Twitter has been everything from interesting to downright hurtful with women blaming Shawniece’s hair for the problems in her relationship.
I could go on but you get the gist. That last tweet is particularly important because on their wedding day, Shawniece’s mother told Jephte that she wanted him to get to know and love her real daughter, not the one dolled up for their wedding day but her daughter with her real face and real hair.
But apparently the people of the internet want something different. All of this discussion just reminds me of how far we still have to go when it comes to embracing our full, Black selves and our Black looks. I don’t think it’s any secret that, for all the progress Black women have made with our natural hair, there are still certain styles and textures that are acceptable and the rest are not. This discussion of Shawniece’s hair reminds me of the time when Solange was wearing her fro out and she had to tell strangers, fans, people who didn’t know her to stop suggesting she do a twist out because she didn’t like to wear her hair that way. It reminds me of Gabby Douglas and Black women telling her her edges weren’t slicked down properly. There’s a lot of micromanaging and focus placed on hair when it’s not the main story. It wasn’t for Gabby, Solange and it certainly isn’t for Shawniece.
Her husband keeps reminding her that she’s a stranger, that he doesn’t know her. He won’t speak about certain subjects, refuses to sleep in the same bed/room with her. She’s always the one initiating affection but it’s her hair that’s holding them back.
I can’t help but feeling like this is yet another example of women going out of their way to absolve men of guilt or fault in a relationship, no matter how they behave, and attribute the union’s failings solely to the woman.
The comments about her hair have been so prevalent that Shawniece eventually responded to them, in a series of very classy tweets.
Precisely. Not to mention based on tweets from both her and Jephte’s Twitter accounts, it seems like they stayed together, meaning she found someone who liked it.
Do you feel we unfairly criticize black women's hair in media?
Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter@VDubShrug.
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How Would You React If A Man You Loved Was Accused Of Sexual Assault?
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| Music mogul Russell Simmons © Lucas Jackson / Reuters |
If you’ve been even semi conscious in the past few months, it would have been impossible for you to avoid the news about men, in various industries, being accused of everything from sexual harassment to rape. Things have died down a bit now; but for a good two to three months there was a new name to add to the list of potential predators every week.
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I was speaking to a friend about how I wouldn’t be surprised by anyone’s name being called. My friend mentioned undisputed good guys like Tom Hanks or Levar Burton. And just as I was willing to go with her, we learned that “nice guy” Aziz Ansari had been implicated in some type of sexual...insensitivity.
The point is, we don’t know these celebrities like we think we do. And more importantly, you can’t swear for anybody. So it begs the question, how would you respond if a man you loved was accused of sexual assault?
With that premise in mind, I’m always surprised to see women take the “stand by your man” approach when it comes to allegations of sexual assault.
Rapper Nelly has been accused of rape or sexual assault by at least three different women. He claims that he had consensual sex with the first woman who accused him. After this particular case went back and forth, with the alleged victim deciding whether or not she was going to testify against him, two more women from the United Kingdom stepped forward with allegations of their own.
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| Shantel Jackson's IG |
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| Shantel Jackson's IG post |
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| Russell Simmons |
When TMZ ran up on Kimora Lee Simmons, his ex-wife and mother of his two daughters, they asked her about the assault allegations involving her ex husband and whether or not she believed in his innocence. She said she loved him, that they were friends and she did believe he was innocent.
Later, with some more time to think it over, she issued this more in depth, more nuanced response.
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 Kimora's IG post |
Honestly, at a time like this, asking women to speak up and out for the men they’re connected to seems like a distraction and a deflection from the central issue here, the behavior of men.
If anything, the Aziz Ansari story taught us that men aren’t always clear of what constitutes sexual force or coercion. In a society that trains men to convince, persuade and coax women into having sex with them, at all costs, men aren’t taught to read body language, to keep checking in to make sure a woman is comfortable, to understand that permission for one sexual act doesn’t guarantee permission for another. In our own lives and the lives of our friends and family, we can point to the ways in which liberties have been taken when it comes to sex and sexuality, by men who we know meant well. Men who didn’t understand that their pressure felt like a violation. Imagine how much more heightened it is for men who have money and power, who see and use women as commodities, men who aren’t used to being told no...by anyone. Who knows how power and access affect the sexual psyche. In the heat of the moment, when a man wants sex, none of us can swear by what he would or wouldn’t do to get it. We just don’t know.
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| Bill Cosby & Kesha Knight Pulliam |
It was a moment staged with the internet and news media in mind. It reminds us of Heathcliff as the loving and devoted father, of Rudy, his doting daughter. If his reputation hadn’t already been besmirched beyond repair, it might have struck a chord. But it was too little, too late. And with Keshia’s desperate and frequent grasps for relevancy, I could see right through this photo opp. I had a visceral reaction to it. After all, Bill Cosby has real daughters, a real wife. While they have spoken out in his defense, why weren’t they present to walk him into the courtroom? Afterward though, it made me consider what I would do if someone I knew and loved had been accused of and likely did something so heinous. I wrote that I would probably be,“at the crib, praying. I'ma come visit you in prison and we can talk about treatment.”
I know from personal experience that you can love people despite their vile behavior. If someone has been kind and loving to you, there’s an ability to split them in your mind. To see and know them as two different people. I think we confuse love for someone as an excuse or rationalization for bad behavior. We make it an “either, or” scenario when it’s really a “both, and” type of deal. You’re not either a saint or a sinner. You can be a rapist and a mentor. While we like to create just one box for people, most of us exist in more than a few. And despite cancel culture, the illusion of perfection, and our reliance on binaries, you can love parts of a person and despise the parts of them that hurt others. What you don’t have to do is let loyalty impede your humanity.
How would you behave if someone you love was accused of rape or sexual assault?
![https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sZHiOoSdX6o/Wguz8GSzrAI/AAAAAAAADmg/SpIrPvnu97QTxmBGG8fJpoMviKVt52_kQCLcBGAs/s1600/V-Wells-headshot.jpg]()
Veronica Wells is the culture editor at MadameNoire.com. She is also the author of “Bettah Days” and the creator of the website NoSugarNoCreamMag. You can follow her on Facebook and on Instagram and Twitter@VDubShrug
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The Rebirth of Brownstone’s Nicci Gilbert: From The Bottom Up
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| Nicci Gilbert |
By Mwabi Kaira
Twenty four years ago, Detroit native Nichole “Nicci” Gilbert burst onto the music scene with her powerhouse vocals. She, Monica "Mimi" Doby, and Charmayne Maxena "Maxee" Maxwell were the founding members of Grammy-nominated Brownstone, the first group signed to Michael Jackson’s MJJ Music record label. Brownstone had 2 successful albums that spawned the hits including “If You Love Me,” “Grapevyne,” “I Can’t Tell You Why,” and “5 Miles To Empty.” The group won a Billboard music award for “If You Love Me.”
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| Nicci Gilbert |
R&B Divas was not the first reality show pulling back the curtain on the lives of beloved singers, but it was the first in the age of social media. Whitney Houston appeared on her husband Bobby Brown’s reality show back in 2005 to the disapproval of fans, but other than on radio shows, fans did not have a public forum for fans to converge at once, in real time, and give their disapproval. Enter Twitter. Black Twitter specifically. Although Twitter launched in 2006, 2012 is when the momentum came with more than 100 million users posting 340 million tweets a day. If people loved you, they hailed you and created loving hashtags and even made you a star but if they weren’t checking for you, you might as well have been left dead on the side of the road. By the time Nicci left the show, she had felt the brunt of black twitter and then some. She had been labelled the villain of the show she created and fans dubbed her as trash and cancelled.
Nicci went from being on top of the world to tired, broken and broke. She had put her own creativity, talent, and resources into the show and it continued without her. She saw the clothing line she created and launched on the show skyrocket and plummet within days. I ask Nicci if while creating R&B Divas she saw black twitter coming, “Honestly, we weren’t ready for what came with social media. I wasn’t ready. I loved Twitter, it was actually how the girls and I communicated as I put the show together, it was a great tool for that.” It took some time but Nicci remembered her core; who she really was and found a way to drown out the noise and not believe what was being said about her that was untrue. She found out who her true support system was and got back to doing what she does best; being creative.
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| Charmayne (Maxee) Maxwell |
From The Bottom Up premiered in 2016 with cast members Stacii Jae Johnson (Atlanta political fundraiser pulled over for DUI), Christine Beatty (Chief of Staff for Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick caught up in a sex scandal), Sara Stokes (former member of Diddy’s Making The Band 2 with domestic violence charges), Kim Smeadly (administered illegal butt injections to women across the US), and Chrystale Wilson (known from her role in the movie The Players Club). The show was well received and the women worked through their issues and found their footing through season 2. The third season, with a brand new cast, including Angela Stanton, Brandi Davis, Tamika Wright, Danielle Jones, and Iesha Jeng, premieres on March 3rd.
From the Bottom Up Season 3 trailer
It’s evident just by looking at Nicci and hearing her speak that she has found her stride again. She radiates positivity and empowerment, goes hard in the gym, and is overall happy. Her rebirth has been for her mind, body and soul. When asked to pinpoint where the change began Nicci responds,
“I went through so much that could have easily broken me and it didn’t. One day I decided to be my authentic self and work on things that made me happy. Everything fell into place after that.”Brownstone’s “If You Love Me” was reintroduced to the radio in 2016 when Tory Lanez used the hook in his hit “Say It” and even had the ladies join him for a performance on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It was a bittersweet moment for Nicci, “Maxee always wanted us to be current and she would have been so happy with Tory’s song.”
After a long break, Nicci is giving us some new music too.
“People may find this hard to believe but I had insecurity to sing alone after being in a group. I suffered a creative singing block that got worse after Maxee’s death. I just didn’t think I’d be able to sing again without having her by my side. I’ve decided that fear can’t hold me hostage and to sing again to honor Maxee.”In addition to recording her first single “Fly” available now on Itunes from her forthcoming EP due this Spring, Nicci is one busy lady. She's working on finding a home for her documentary, Broken Things; The Sara Stokes Story about sexual abuse. This is the ultimate #MeToo story that needs to be watched by everyone. She was recently awarded with the BET Her 2018 Woman of Impact Award and it gave her even more zeal and purpose.
“I’ve been thinking about what my legacy will be lately and I know that it will include my encouraging, and empowering women to speak their truth and to just be who they are.”Nicci plans to have many things under the From The Bottom Up Foundation umbrella including mentorship for girls in High School and College, speaking to and encouraging incarcerated women, and establishing a scholarship in Maxee’s name. Tune into Season 3 of From The Bottom Up on March 3rd on BET Her and purchase Nicci’s single Fly available on Itunes now!
Have you seen 'From the Bottom Up?'
Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world. She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993. Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy. She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon. Keep up with her at http://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com/
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Chadwick Boseman Covers Rolling Stone & Reveals the Donor Who Paid for Him To Study Theater at Oxford
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Comment on ALL Articles For A Chance To Win a "Celeb" Matte Liquid Lipstick by Ferya Cosmetics!
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| Ferya Cosmetics |
Ever wonder what it would feel like to rock the perfect lip like your favorite celebrity? Well, even if you haven't, we've got the perfect matte liquid lipstick just for you! It's appropriately titled 'celeb,' it's by Ferya Cosmetics, and it can be yours just by commenting on all articles this week! We're giving away 5, so you'll wanna get started!
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| "Celeb" |
Ferya's Matte Liquid Lipstick 'Celeb' is a soft, sultry pink pigment that delivers a rich and glossy luster for a sophisticated, long-lasting look. Perfect for simple or ultra glam looks! It is available at Ferya Cosmetics.
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Comment on ALL articles in the comment section for a chance to win! 5 Winners will be selected next week so good luck and stay tuned!
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Tell It Tuesday: Idris Elba & the Proposal That Shook the World!
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| Idris Elba & fiance Sabrina Dahowre |
Last week the black community was delivered some devastating news…
Idris Elba...Gone Too Soon
NO HE'S NOT DEAD, he's off the market, but you'd think he kicked the bucket based on the sudden hysteria connected to his name. How can one man’s public proposal make one woman so happy while simultaneously shattering the matrimonial hopes and dreams of black women across the globe? And why so many predictions for a negative outcome? Do we REALLY need to go there, hoping he cheats on his fiance? And why all the insults towards her? What in the world did she ever do to us? I'm just wondering how this will affect his box offices sales,‘cause you know us sistahs will put on a petty protest and make the brotha wanna repent for trespassing against us.
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We've all had our fantasy crushes get crushed once or twice in our lives. For me, Michael Jackson was a tough one. I mean, after all, I was in the 8th grade when I had to face that the King of Pop was never coming to my house to get my mom's permission to take me out. I took it pretty hard. But I'm sure I don't have to explain why I'm glad it didn't work out.
The grass is always greener on the other side, but keep this important point in mind...God created ALL the grass and He gave us all enough water to take care of our own yard. And way beyond every yard sits a house where we have NO IDEA what goes on inside. So let's be careful not to mourn the “absence" of people that were never meant to be ours because relational goals can still be achieved without them.
So, is all this sorrow truly about the guy that The Wire made famous or does the displaced resentment go way, way deeper than that?
There’s a downside to the never before access we have to the Hollywood elite and their private lives. Due to social media, entertainment news and reality TV, the compulsion to live vicariously through the lives of our favorite stars has reached an all time high and is completely out of whack. The once distinct line between fantasy and reality has unfortunately become more blurred. Nothing wrong with the imagination as a tool to inspire, but feeling dangled by a thread in front of heavily edited dreams only causes people grave disappointment and major distractions.
It's not fair for the media to bombard us with these lavish lifestyles and ritzy relationships without equally providing us with the how-to’s for our own lives. But hey it's not their job, but I can tell you whose job it most definitely is…
GOD’S.
No time to feel down and out, pumped and dumped when you're reminded of the very reason you were born. In Genesis 2:18, God reminds us that women were created to be man's helper. We come from the lineage of Eve, the original wife and mother of all mankind (we got it from our mama!). And although she is most known for the regretted bite heard around the world, Eve was DEFINITELY much more than that.
Wives are endowed with an innate ability to positively change the course of destiny for their husbands and their household. And it was the devil that perverted Eve’s calling to do just that; by twisting God's words and mixing them with his own. She was intrigued by that stupid ol’ serpent's claim that eating the fruit (um, who said it was an apple???) would give her more wisdom. MORE wisdom, which means she didn't recognize what she already had! Sounds like she thought the grass was greener on the other side too!
Oh, if we all would just realize the value of what we have to offer, we wouldn't let a few celebrity weddings sway us from the faith it takes to wait for the best man God has in mind. So get on the fast track to walking in wisdom and power because…
whether you desire to be
happily married
or remain single and free
this world can't make it without you
and that's a reality!
Do you get bummed when your crushes find love?
TA-NING is a former model and clothing designer who one day got the "call" to leave the fab world of fashion behind. While in Bible College, she discovered her knack for mixing her quirky style of writing with her gift to teach. TA-NING'S TELL IT TUESDAY is a weekly column (originally launched on Facebook) that uses doses of pop culture to tear down the walls of churchy tradition, change the face of Christianity, and present it's message in a lively way. Ta-ning resides in Santa Monica (by way of BK), is obsessed with dogs, and is an old school Hip-Hop junkie!
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Black Panther Blew Our Minds, Now What?
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| Photo via The Root |
It’s been days since I saw Black Panther and I’m still thinking about it. There was so much to digest and I know I’ll have to see it several more times to fully receive all the messaging and beauty of it all. Not since the history making November night in 2008 when Barack Obama became President have I witnessed black people come together and share excitement collectively. It was such a beautiful sight to witness and I know I will cherish this moment for the rest of my days.
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| Lupita Nyong'o, Chadwick Boseman & Danai Gurira |
Black Panther depicted Wakanda, a fictional powerful African country untouched by the Western world so beautifully. In Wakanda beautiful black people are celebrated and not merely tolerated, they are strong, smart and want for nothing. Women in Wakanda are not second class citizens who are after thoughts, they are sought after for wise counsel and play such pivotal roles that Wakanda can’t do without. Wakandans are not our ancestors dreams, they are living exactly as our ancestors lived. Wakanda resonated in a way that I hope lasts forever.
There was also the addressing of Africans and African-Americans between first King T’Chaka and his brother N’Jobu and then between their sons T’Challa and Killmonger. Both T’Chaka and T’Challa believe in preserving Wakanda and not letting the outside in while N’Jobu and Killmonger believe in sharing Wakandan powerful weapons with the oppressed black people all over the world. Some argue that nothing was solved in this movie and the two worlds did not find a way to reconcile but honesty what could be solved in such a layered movie that had a timeframe? The much needed conversation has began and this start is enough for me.
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Black Panther Cast |
The narrative has been changed. Now it's time for studios to greenlight more of these kind of movies AND pay our actors the same as their white counterparts. Really it should be more money based on these numbers but we can start with the same. Black Panther was a reminder of our dopeness; our music is often imitated and duplicated, our style sets trends, our flavorful food is sought after, our rhythm is watched in awe, our inventions are innovative and have changed the world. We are the pulse of the culture and have been since the beginning of time. Black Panther just put all those things in Wakanda and it gave us pride. It's time for us to carry this pride forward and a piece of it in our hearts to remind us of our greatness. Wakanda doesn’t just have to be a state of mind, we are Wakanda everyday.
How do you think we can carry the Wakanda spirit into our everyday lives?
Mwabi Kaira is an African girl navigating her way in an American world. She is of Zambian and Malawian heritage and moved to the USA in 1993. Writing has been her passion since she could put a sentence together on the page. Mothering her sons is her pride and joy. She has been an avid runner since 2013 and has run 10 half marathons and a full marathon. Keep up with her at http://africanbeautifulme.blogspot.com/
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DON’T TALK ABOUT IT, BE ABOUT IT: 5 WAYS TO PUT SELF-LOVE INTO ACTION
If you asked ten women to describe self-love, I’m sure you’d get ten different answers. And, I absolutely hope that you get ten different answers because we’re all different. Hello! The term “self-love” has been thrown around a lot lately. It’s popular. It’s trending. It’s got it’s own hashtag and everything. #SelfLove is hot! But what does it really mean? What does it look like in the real world?
If you look at social media feeds, self love could be anything from daily “I am beautiful. I am AWESOME!” affirmations, to buying yourself the latest pair of Jimmy Choos, to adoring your voluptuous body, to setting time aside for just you, cuddled by a warm fire, jammies on, sipping a glass of wine. So which is it?
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Find Out How To Get This Super Cute Blowout for 4C Hair!
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| Nakawunde |
Getting the perfect blowout without destroying curl pattern or excessive breakage takes real finesse. Safe to say, natural hair vlogger Nakawunde has figured it out and then some! Here she shares her blowout routine from the hair dryer she uses to the products that makes this style the gift that keeps on giving. Check it out and if you like, subscribe to her page, drop a comment and share!
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50 Shades of Shape: How Nicole Murphy & Cynthia Bailey Stay Fit at 50!
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| Nicole Murphy |
When I saw the picture of Nicole Murphy stepping into her 50h birthday party with a bedazzled catsuit and matching bustier, her boobs lifted, ass sitting high, coca cola shaped figure and Halle Berry inspired short cut I gagged. To make matters worse, she had the audacity to twerk and dip it low while Beyonce’s Drunk In Love serenaded her in the background. I prayed to God that if that’s not what I will look like going into my 50th birthday, feel free to take me out early.
I did a quick google search of black celebs in their 50s and found that gorgeous, high-cheekboned Cynthia Bailey of RHOA is slaying with her #50Cynt movement. After researching how they are keeping their bodies young, I wanted to share a few tips that can help you get on the right track.
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Nicole Murphy Fitness
Nicole Murphy has a wellness website and YouTube channel with diet and exercise tips and tutorials. Nicole Murphy Fitness gives subscribers easy and quick ways to get and stay fit. She incorporates a variety of exercises into her routine to stay active and keep things fun and fresh. In addition to sweating it out in the gym, she encourages trying things like yoga, circuit training, weight training, cycling and kickboxing to give your body a well rounded experience.
Cynthia Bailey prefers more creative methods of working out, as like most, exercising is not her favorite pastime. Outdoor workouts that include walks and runs around the park is more her speed and she is also really into yoga. More importantly, she is most interested in the spiritual workout. She told Blushing in Hollywood that meditating is what keeps her in tact and grounded in her health. She tries to start her day with 30 minutes of meditation.
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| Cynthia Bailey |
Murphy indulges in the same. She loves burgers, pizzas and fries just like any other girl but balances it out by blending the sin foods with green and leafy veggies to make them dense in nutrients. So instead of a beef burger with bacon and cheddar, Murphy may eat a turkey burger with lettuce, onion, mushroom and tomato with wheat bread. Sounds good to me!
As you can see, diet and exercise aren’t the worst! Let’s train our bodies now so we aren't trying to catch up at 50. The great thing about today is we have an advantage: the internet. Gone are the days when you have to actually spend money on a trainer or nutritionist. YouTube is your trainer and Google can be your nutritionist. Now werk!
How do you stay fit?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com
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Count On Me: Do You Have A Squad You Can Depend On?
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| Ciara, Serena, LaLa & Eva Longoria via Serena's IG |
Remember that scene from the movie Waiting to Exhale where Robyn, Gloria, Bernie and Savannah were two steppin’ to Creep by TLC with their hair tossed, outfits on fleek, candles burning in the background and champagne glasses full? From the moment I watched that part of the film, I anticipated the day my girls and I would do the same. That scene and what came afterward had all of the ingredients of what friendship symbolized to me: a tablespoon of fun, a teaspoon of honest truth, an ounce of comroadeire and a cup full of love. Now, I was only 4 when the movie was released so why I was watching it with my mother in the first place has yet to be determined, but regardless, that scene has forever stuck out in my mind as the picture of friendship. It was probably the first image of black friendship I ever saw on television and with that example, I am eternally grateful because it set the tone and standard for what I dreamed my circle would be like.
Like many, I experienced the ups and downs (mainly downs) of friendships. I was the odd girl out because I had an overprotective mother who played no games when it came to who her daughter kept company. Instead of making friends with girls my own age at school or extracurricular activities, my mom enlisted the help of my cousin who is 8 years older than me and my afterschool program and summer camp came in the form of me following behind my cousin, sitting with her watching BET’s Teen Summit and her serving as chaperone on my school trips. In turn, I matured faster than my peers. In school, I was viewed as a bossy, know-it-all, and kept at arm's length. Not to mention the bullying, notes passed, and whispers most girls experience at some point in their adolescence. Long story short, ya girl was lonely.
High school wasn’t much different. I still found myself to be the more mature girl who was viewed as judgemental, square and boring. The friendships I did have didn’t seem to last that long and I became introverted. I had my cousin and family but yearned for something deeper: the Robin, Gloria, Bernie and Savannah bond that I saw all those years ago on screen. It wasn’t until I got to college that amazing friendships started to form. By the time college came, I was more in tune with who I was and who I wanted to be and I sought out and attracted that same energy. I was more confident, so I didn’t feel the need to waver. The friends I made in college and beyond, I felt comfortable to be myself with. We learned from each other and balanced one another out versus judging one another for our differences. We supported each other.
It’s only gotten better post college. To have a circle I can turn to for anything good or bad and turn up with is a blessing. It’s also been magical to experience growth together and watch each other’s successes explode along the way. It’s been great to be a part of and after chatting with my circle about how friendship gets greater as you age, I thought it would be great to share their thoughts as well. Here are a few personal accounts from just some of my circle:
“As we get older, we start to see friendships as more than just who lives in close proximity or who has my same class or even, who has my same personality traits. In my late twenties, I've learned that holding on to people who may be different from me but, who are willing to put in the effort to encourage and support me, are my true friends. -Kaneisha Woods, production - friends for 7 years
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| Kaneisha and I at our college graduation circa 2013 |
“Friendship is a strange thing, it bends and shifts— twisting and engulfing as you grow as a human being. In my late 20s I’ve never been more thankful for my very tight but small circle. We’re all going 100 miles an hour in different directions, yet we can always reconnect as if we’ve never left. My friends ground me and breathe life into me and I’m constantly grateful.” -Aramide Tinubu, writer - friends for 5 years
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| Me with Aramide at my housewarming, circa March 2017 |
“When I was younger, I tolerated "friends" who didn't uplift me or felt like they can control me by emotional manipulation or petty mind games. Now, I have a solid crew of friends who are multifaceted: they pray for me and cut up with me on the dancefloor in the club all in the same night -Lauren R.D. Fox, writer - friends for 3 years
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| Me and Lauren, circa 2016 |
I’m thankful for the friendships I have now. It made everything I experienced earlier in life worth it. Now we EXHALE, together.
SQUAD
Do you have a squad you can count on?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com
Do you have a squad you can count on?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com
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Black Panther's Danai Gurira on being a Proud Zimerican
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| Danai Gurira By Erickka Sy Savané One thing we can say about the film Black Panther (now the #1 movie in the WORLD) is that it's bridging a long over-due gap between Africans and African Americans. To see the movie is to be proud of where we come from and that's just facts. As an African American woman who grew up with an affinity for the continent, and is raising two little girls with my hubby from Cote D'Ivoire, it's a world that has always held interest for me. So when I stumbled across an article in this month's Glamour magazine where Black Panther star Danai Gurira talks about what it means to be "Zimerican" (she was born in Grinnel, Iowa to Zimbabwean parents and moved to Zimbabwe when she was around 6 or 7 years old), I was all ears. Here are a few things that stuck out from her essay that old fans (Walking Dead is still her day gig) and new fans, will enjoy! |
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| Danai shines in this month's Glamour mag! |
Danai says that she didn't find out that her real name was Danai, which means "to be in love" or "to love one another" in her parent's native Shona language, until she was five years old. Before then, she'd only been called by her nickname Dede. Of this discovery she says,
"A typical little girl with cool cred to uphold, I wasn't too into this other name. It sounded weird the way my mom pronounced it, her African cadences freely flowing, her tongue pulled to the back roof of her mouth as she said the first syllable like a d, but not really, her mouth wide as she pronounced the a and I at the end of this strange new designation."
So like most kids who want to fit in, Danai wasn't having having any of it and kept Dede as her name of choice. It wasn't until she and her family moved to Zimbabwe a year later that Dede now became the weird name. On top of that, as Danai grew into adolescence and began reading about the likes of Toni Morrison, Alex Haley, James Baldwin, MLK and Malcolm X, a consciousness started to build and along with it came a new desire...
"I started to connect the dots around why I was rejecting my people's cultureal markers and the dominating effects of Eurocentric culture. All of a sudden I needed to lay claim to what folks had fought and died for me to have- the freedom to speak my own language, my own name."
From then on, Dede would insist on being called Danai, and a confidence in her authentic self was born. She says that embracing her real name has been a major influence on her life and career from the stories she tells (like her Tony-nominated Broadway hit play Eclipsed), the characters she plays (like her star turn as a general in an African King's army in Black Panther), and her activism (Danai co-founded the nonprofit Almasi Arts, a Zimbabwean American dramatic arts collaborative).
"The irony that American greats helped bring me to this initial awakening doesn't go unnoticed by me. It's what makes me what I am- Zimerican, I call it. Both Zimbabwean and America resonate in me in equally significant parts and can't be extricated from each other. Right now both countries sit at defining moments: America faces political division and a crises of leadership, and Zimbabwe is finding its footing in a transition of power after decades under one man's rule. I've never felt the weight of my biculturalism more intensely. All I know to do is remember who I am and be ready to participate, as my full self: Danai Jekesai Gurira- a Zimerican."
Do you claim all parts of your heritage?
Erickka Sy Savané is managing editor of CurlyNikki.com, a wife, mom, and freelance writer based in Jersey, City, NJ. Her work has appeared in Essence.com, Ebony.com, Mad
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7 Things I Hope To See On This Season's Braxton Family Values
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| The Braxton Family |
I’ve been a stan of Braxton Family Values from the start. The sisters are beautiful, talented, relatable and hilarious! BFV expose what other reality shows fail to do: their actual reality. The sisters make headlines outside of filming with social media squabbles, money troubles and relationship turmoil. With all the headlines off season and the upcoming new episodes, here’s 7 things I hope to see!
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Mama E
Toni
Toni’s a member proud yet semi-silent member of the bird gang. For months, she’s been sporting a rock on her ring finger leaving already perplexed fans wondering if she and Birdman had jumped the broom. Toni hasn’t revealed much throughout her time on the show. The lives and drama of her sisters have more so been at the forefront. She’s played coy with this relationship despite flaunting the ring, showing up on red carpets and song collaborations with her stunna. Hopefully she cuts the games and just puts it all on the table.
Traci
Traci has come a long way from the sister who popped off in every family meeting about how she was left behind while her sisters had musical success. She’s found her lane and seems content now after releasing music of her own. Out of all of the Braxton girls, she’s the only one who is still (seemingly happily) married, despite her sisters calling her husband out in earlier seasons for his past cheating ways. Something must be working. It would be nice to see more of Traci’s life at home in Muurrland and both families integrated. There was a time when her husband and son were showed and I want to see more.
Towanda
When the show first debuted, we watched the middle sister play second fiddle as she acted as Toni’s Assistant, background singer and the family confidant. As seasons progressed, she slowly started stepping out on her own, using her voice, leaving her no-good husband and now she's found a spot in the acting world. Her role in the Two Can Play That Game Stage Play just ended. I want to see Towanda shine! Show us the audition process, her killing it on set and for the grand finale, DATING! We want to see “Towanda The Body” getting her groove back. Andre is in the past, let’s see what her present and future looks like.
Trina
No Gabe. Don’t talk about Gabe, don’t go to therapy to reconcile your feelings for Gabe, don’t show us any flashbacks of Gabe in past seasons. I recall Tamar referring to you and Gabe as “herpes simplex one who pops in and out.” Get a topical cream for that outbreak and make it go away. I’m over you and Gabe. Every season, he finds his way back. We have seen it all girl: the break ups, make ups, divorce filings, vow renewals and divorce with an attempt to salvage a friendship despite his petty and disgusting ways. There’s nothing more to be done. Instead, show us Bar Chix thriving. You can even create another pop song if you want. Just leave Gabe out. Please.
Tamar
Oh Tay-Tay how I love thee. But you’ve blasted and ridiculed your sisters publically for 5 long seasons about their man problems, exposing all of their flaws and going below the belt in cringeworthy arguments while you’ve frolicked around boasting about how amazing your man was. Viewers suspected trouble from what we witnessed onTamar & Vince but we never imagined physical abuse (allegedly). This season, I’d love to see the truthful, vulnerable, HUMBLE Tay. Still shady and slightly bratty, but a tad bit humble.
Sing Ladies!
Most of all, I’d like to see the Braxton Family do what they do best, SING...collectively. Nothing puts a smile on my face faster than watching the sisters break out into song at random, in perfect harmony. It’s what binds them together and seems to be the answer to all of their debates. They released a Christmas album a few years back but the fans want more. If they could pull together, especially this season with the turmoil the sisters seem to face, an original Braxton album is the real plug.
Braxton Family Values returns to WeTV on Thursday March 22.
What do you want to see this coming season?
Brenda is a Philadelphia native with a love for Marketing, Creative writing, wine and Jesus. Her work has been featured on Mayvenn’s Real Beautiful blog and she is the co-author of the book Christmas 364: Be Merry and Bright Beyond Christmas Night (available for purchase on amazon). Follow her on IG @trulybrenda_ and trulybrenda.wordpress.com
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Obesity and Black Women: These Activists Get To The Root Of The Epidemic
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| Photo: Annabel Mehran |
Obesity in America has reached epidemic levels, and according to a Special Report on Racial and Ethnic Disparities in Obesity a few years back, African-American women are at the helm of this alarming trend. Statistics show that four out of every five black women are overweight, and one out of four middle-aged black women are living with diabetes. We are facing a health crisis like never before. We know the data, but what’s the truth?
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5 Mins of Fashion Fodder: Lupita, Idris Elba, Beyonce & More!
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| Taneica of Tea With Taneica |
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Tiffany Haddish's Fan Girl Moment With Oprah Will Leave You Smiling!
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| Oprah & Tiffany on the Ellen DeGeneres Show |
By Erickka Sy Savané
One of the reasons we love Tiffany Haddish so much is that she keeps it all the way real. Like, really real. So we wouldn't expect anything less when she went on the Ellen DeGeneres show the other day and got to meet the Queen of TV Ms. Oprah Winfrey herself! Let's just say that the ugly cry was in full affect, and it's nice to see that dreams really do come true! Congratulations Tiff!
Oprah & Tiffany chatting it up on the Ellen DeGeneres Show
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| Tiffany posted this photo 3 x on her IG because she loved it so much! |
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| Tiffany is living it up! Not long ago it was Beyonce that she got to meet... |
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| And it wasn't her first time on Ellen. She also appeared on the show last year to promote her book The Last Black Unicorn |
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| Buy on amazon |
Have you ever fanned out when meeting someone you admire? And do you believe dreams come true?
Erickka Sy Savané is managing editor of CurlyNikki.com, a wife, mom, and freelance writer based in Jersey, City, NJ. Her work has appeared in Essence.com, Ebony.com, Mad
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